Hi Speck,
howsit going down there? Your dad wants to know if you want to be baptised. Since we’re not religious, and neither one of us are, to our knowledge, baptised, we’ve decided against it for you. If you want to later in life, feel free. Seems a bit premature. Anyway, I think he was just more interested in throwing water at your head: the next question was “Can I squirt it with a watergun?”. To which of course the answer is an unqualified yes, however I think he should note that children seem to like waterguns and as you get older you may return the favour. But not in any religious sense.
The other strange conversation we’ve had today is about the state of my pubic hair when its time to go to hospital. I have to admit, it was me that made a joke about hair removal when reading the hospital book ’cause it mentioned that you can get a hairdresser who comes to your room – but he then wanted to know if I am going to wax my fanny for when you come out. Again, I was slightly mystified as to the reason he would ask such a thing – or even think about it – but apparently he is concerned that I might care what the various people who no doubt will see it will think. Surprising, cause I’m not one to worry about that kind of thing at all! Sorry if I’ve embarrassed you, I guess you mum’s fanny is something no child (nor adult for that matter) really wants to think about for any length of time at all. It does make you wonder though – do other women worry about the state of their fanny when they go into hospital: to hairy bush or to not? Or indeed right the way through their pregnancy, all the scans, the OB visits?? Goodness, you could run a sideline business that was affiliated with clinics that specialised in ‘down there hair care’.
Too much.
Other weird hospital things:
- why 7-10 pairs of underpants? Is this number arbitrary or does it suggest 2-3 changes a day for 2-3 days? They don’t specify a style – is it nanna-knicker only or can you go with the kath&kim -style g-banger look?
- camera, games, … jigsaws? Jigsaws? Do they mean jigsaw puzzles? Cause to me a jigsaw is a SAW that you use to cut wood. Surely they don’t want your dad to perform surgery on me if it all goes pear-shaped? Urg!. And if they do mean jigsaw puzzles, who really wants to play jigsaw puzzles after they’ve just had a baby?
Hope you’re well. And enjoying my chocolate binge from yesterday. I gave up on healthy eating for the afternoon. A friend had a hangover and wanted a burger for lunch, but as we strolled along Darling Street looking for a burger joint, Adriano Zumbo’s new chocolate cafe just leapt out at us & we had to go in. I had a chocolate milkshake for lunch, followed up with a few handmade chocolates that we shared. Truly to-die for was the violet & *berry (there goes the short-term memory again, it wasn’t blueberry, maybe blackberry??). Anyway, good. I am going back another day. I will miss Adriano when I move back to Brisvegas. The cakes are to drool over – if you haven’t eaten / been there you MUST look: amazing cakes
and two reviews of the chocolate shop.
Have to run, we are going to buy a new baby book – your dad is almost as obsessed as me, which is fun.
bye!
love you.
get bigger.
mum
Hello Speck.
I thought I would leave a quick comment to what your mother just wrote in case there were any Canadians reading this blog and were horrified at the thought of your mother waxing her fanny.
I would just like to clarify, that in Australia your ‘fanny’ is the front bit of ladies private parts. Although I am sure Canadian ladies do wax their front bits too, we tend to mean ‘bum’ when we use the word ‘fanny’, so I thought I would just clear the air of any unwarranted confusion that might have arose in the minds of any Canadian readers. Seriously, your mom doesn’t, nor does she need to, wax her bum.
And before you can ask, yes Speck you are 1/2 Canadian and 1/2 Australian (does that make sense?!?), and if you happen to be a lady, and you consider your private parts from both of your cultural perspectives, you could say that you have two fannies, but seeing as you are currently in the business of growing your own organs and other bits, I suggest you pick one perspective for the time being to avoid any conflict or confusion. In all senses, the bum goes at the back.
Right. Glad that’s all cleared up.
dad.
does your mum know she’s named you after a piece of air dried pig meat i wonder…usually she’s pretty clued up but lately i’m not so sure. anyway just so you’re in the loop the chocolate was violet and blackcurrant and it was delicious. don’t worry about lack of zumbo in vegas it will just mean you have to come visit me more….can you cuddle a speck? sending lots your way…oxo
ps. hope your dang crazy ma and pa don’t shoot you with a water gun and if they do we’ll make sure yours is bigger ok!
he he he, is that a dare for a water fight?
[…] at work yesterday, I plan to shake off the grumpiness by consuming all manner of sweet desserts at Adriano Zumbo’s after a short walk from the relaxing lounge where I am currently reclining at Chez […]