my-speck

Hello Little Speck,

Well, I’m a great big ball of emotion today.  Still happy one minute, but balling my eyes out the next.  Was very excited to be flying back to Brisbane last night ’cause its officially the end of my weekly commuting run.  Thought when I got back and your dad picked me up that he was a little pensive in the car – but just put it down to the traffic.  I wish now it were such a simple frustration.

So, bad news for your Grandad.  He found out this week that he has throat cancer.  For someone who’s never smoked, its pretty unlucky statistically.  I’m pretty shocked.  And angry.  And sad.  Just all mixed-up all at once.   Its a strange feeling – I’m upset for him, for R, my brothers, for you, and for me and your dad.   All for very different but significant reasons.  And I’m really upset that he is facing a few months of horrid treatment through which I guess we just have to hope it all works out, which it might, but will be horrible and make him extra sick.   And its all still very unreal.  I just can’t imagine a world without my Dad around in his happy, healthy and very supportive role.  I can’t imagine him not teasing me and having the energy to tickle your uncles at the drop of a hat.

… finished this post early ’cause I started crying and couldn’t keep writing …