my-speck

Dear Poogie,

I read a post today by my blogging friend over at Pretty Little Stitches about people’s responses to her breastfeeding in public and a photo of herself breastfeeding in a gorgeous knit sweater she craftily made (jealous of the skills!)… And I went to write back a comment and got to thinking about an experience I had when you were a newly born little bundle.  So I thought I’d share it.  I seem to have been reminiscing a little over the past week or so about ‘when you were little’.  You’ve hit the nine month mark this week, and it just feels like yesterday that you were born, but also so long ago at the same time.  I’ve spent a bit of time reading over my old posts from June and August 2009 when you were fresh, and re-living the feelings I had.  They are almost tangible, and definitely tasteable when I re-read them.  Glad I’ve written some of it down to you via this blog.  But the story:

Breastfeeding … in a stranger’s house

When you were a few weeks old your dad and I went to a barbeque at someone’s house on a weekend afternoon.  We didn’t know them so well, but they have kids and we were invited along for their child’s birthday party, so off we went.  After being there for a while, I needed to give you a feed.  I would happily have fed anywhere, but all the seats where people were congregating were taken, and the lounge room chairs looked pretty formal and new.  I was still getting used to breastfeeding you and my boobs leaked everywhere all the time, and we weren’t the neatest of eaters, so before I plonked myself down on their new couch I thought I’d best check if it was ok.  I don’t know why, thinking back it was kinda silly, but I guess I was just being polite.

Looking around for our friend, I realised she was occupied, so asked her husband:

“is there somewhere comfortable I can sit to feed the baby?”

I was expecting him to say, “sure, just make yourself comfortable in the lounge room”… But, what he said was,

“Um.  Ok.  Well,  you can feed him in our bedroom.  You know, some people are …”. Actually, I can’t remember what his exact words were, but essentially he indicated that some people might be offended or something by my breastfeeding or lack of modesty or something, so the bedroom would be best.

Mmmm.  So next I’m following him down the hall to the master bedroom, where he opens the door and lets me in and then leaves after checking I’m ok and don’t need anything…  And I look around and realise there is no chair in the room, so I’m going to have to lie down on their bed and somehow put a spare nappy underneath me to soak up any spillage as their bedcover is really neat and nice and perfect and dark purple satin so will show up any leaky milk for sure.   You’re crying from hunger at this stage so I try to hurry and get you attached and settled and happily feeding.  I decide that lying down isn’t an option as I’m worried that someone will come bursting into the room and as I really don’t know the hosts at all it would be weird to be discovered making myself totally homey in their bed with my breasts out and babe feeding.   I’m just not feeling comfortable about it, it would have been better in the lounge in the open.

Anyway, you’re attached, all is going well, happily feeding, when I finally notice my surrounds.  Lovely big master bedroom, with a big ensuite.  And then I look at the wall that is directly in front of me, next to the bed.

And see the pictures.

Of the couple.  Who I hardly know. In a late-80’s or early 90’s special picture that I assume would have been marketed under the banner ‘tastefully erotic’ or something similar.

Ooooh.  I think.   Not really what I want to be looking at.  So I turn my head to the right.  And then discover, above the bed head, MORE of the pictures.  Different poses, different hairstyles, same genre.

We’re talking no clothes, airbrushed edges, no down belows exposed but everything else with purple drape cloths and shimmery material as a  backing.  Lots of positions.  About 7-10 A3 sized pictures in all, taking up the whole wall.  Hard to miss.

Aaaagh..  I think.  Then I turn myself the other direction.  And find: both sets of pictures, perfectly reflected back at me in a huge mirror.

AAAAAAGGGH.

I was so distracted and concentrating so hard on getting you attached and feeding that I didn’t notice anything until it was too late.

Three minutes later, I’ve got bored of staring at my feet, in an uncomfortable position on the bed, feeding you with no back support surrounded by lots of lurid pictures of people who I really don’t know and whose bedroom I am now most decidedly uncomfortable feeding in, and there is a tap at the door.

Oh no, I think.

But no trouble, it’s just your Dad come to check and see if I’m ok and I need anything.  He checks up on me, also not noticing the pictures.   I point them out and he bursts out laughing at the same time as he starts fleeing the room…

“Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha.  Enjoy the breastfeeding” he says as he backs speedily out of the room.

A good laugh..

It did provide me with the opportunity for a good laugh in the car in the way home.  And when I told your grandmother the next day she cackled too.

but isn’t there something slightly wrong with the picture?

But overall, although I find the instance funny, it’s also a little sad that people still are uncomfortable with breastfeeding, a natural and the best food for a baby, whilst they are perfectly ok with mild erotica in the bedroom and people they barely know seeing it…  Similar to Pretty Little Stitches’ experience…

I choose to see the funny side of it and celebrate it as a learning experience.

And you don’t seem to have been offput by the experience.  You’re still happily feeding away.

Relaxed and feeding with your eyes closed just after waking up 🙂 9 months old.

love mum

P.S. I realise ‘soft porn’ is a slight exaggeration but really, I had to get your attention somehow!