my-speck

Hello Little Poogie,

Long time no write. I think I’m suffering from what Faemom (one of my favourite other mum / mom bloggers) refers to as Psychic Block: a lack of motivation following my exam and end of semester on the weekend. This follows on from a lack of writing due to what I refer to as the Procrastination Effect: if you’re not studying when you think you should be, you can’t do anything else that might be considered remotely useful or practical or as ‘moving forward’ on any other projects. Because by rights, you should be studying. Makes perfect sense, right? So you can read the news on the internet all you like, you just can’t blog about it. You can look at recipes, you just can’t cook… You know the drill. Anyway..

(and by the way, for those that care, the exam was fine fine fine)

I need to remind myself it was only a few days ago: not a huge amount of time, but just enough added stress over a period and close to now to still make me feel a bit on edge about everything. I had a bit of release, your dad and I going to the final football game of the season on Saturday night, and then the movies on Sunday. (Yes, that is right, you read it correctly. TWO adult-only events sans YOU in one weekend. Who would have thought??!!) But still a bit stressed.

I’ve of course had such little self-awareness that it has taken me getting out of the house today and going to work this afternoon to realise. That I’m stressed, that is.

So I did make an attempt to unwind. But I’m still feeling slightly wound. And then yesterday you came down with a fever.

And it really freaked me out. I was fine with it all until you woke up from a quick morning nap today with your glazed eyes lolling back in your head, happy to have me hold you in my arms and listen to my voice and attempt to make some garbling noises back to me but really not really very with it. I panicked and called your dad. Who assured me that the doctor’s appointment we already had scheduled for two hours later would suffice and to just keep your fluids up. Which I was doing, I was just needing some reassurance. So we went out to the back deck and I held you in my arms while you slowly fell asleep, with a few little whimpers but not looking too pained, listening to the sound of my voice, with the brilliant blue sky of the first day of spring and the sounds of the birds making merry as a backdrop.

So now, a few hours later, I’ve left you with your dad and I’ve been doing some work. I’m comfortable that you’re ok, but I’m feeling a bit exhausted and just like I need a few days break. So. I think take-away for dinner tonight. Then hopefully your fever will pass quickly, you’ll be feeling a-ok tomorrow and we can head off on our long-planned and highly anticipated visit to see P&J and baby H at the coast for the weekend.

If not, we may just have to have a holiday in the garden. I might have to set-up the tent and camp down there. Eat some toasted cheese sandwiches made on the camping cooker. Get in the clam-shell-sandpit in my bikini and catch some rays (yes, that is sure to keep the neighbours well at-bay: sight of a whale-like white creature spilling over the edges of bright blue plastic clam shell in suburban garden). Pretend we’re at the beach.

love you. please get well soon.

mum

P.S. Doctor’s visit otherwise all fine. Yes, you have a viral something right now, the one that is circulating Brisbane. Woot. The results of the testing for failure to thrive are all ok, you just need to eat a bit more, which you should do over time anyway.