my-speck

Hello Baby,

well, I’ve finished work – woo hoo.

But all I could seem to do yesterday afternoon was cry.  For no reason really.

I went to pick your brother up from kindy, got out of the car, into the center and saw a friend and their daughter, and as he asked how I was, I said, “fine, fine” as a started to bawl.

Managed to recover marginally, and went outside to find you, at which point your teacher said, “Hey, how are you?”

And I started to cry uncontrollably again, saying “Why does everyone keep asking how I am? I’m fine.  I just can’t stop crying.”

We had a lovely dinner out, all three of us – your dad, me and your big brother, but I just hadn’t shaken off the funk when I woke this morning.

And today your dad is in an extraordinarily grumpy mood. I’ve fielded such comments as:

“You’ve been pregnant for 8 months now, I just can’t wait for it to end”, in response to my complaint that he was very grumpy and that I needed to be cut some slack and some empathy, being tired, a bit cold-fluey, and 8 months pregnant…

“You’re so selfish when you’re pregnant, I can hardly wait for this to be over and you to go back to normal”…

Not his normal empathetic lovely self.  Combined with my need to just have a day to do nothing (but still want things done around me), and feel a bit sorry for myself before moving on, it hasn’t been great.

That said, your Aunt G came to the rescue, ringing to have coffee with me this morning, where we tried to piece together what she actually did last night (fell asleep on the computer keyboard before midnight fully clothed but seemed to have a hazy recollection of events leading up to that, but perhaps didn’t eat much); and then she came back and hung out with us all reading a book in the lovely morning sun on the back verandah while you and your dad pottered around the garden.  That was nice.

….

Conclusion: I’m writing-off today as post-work-finish-baby-uncomfortable-funk-blues day.   Pity there is no chocolate left in the cupboard.  Normally I’d bake something sweet but I can’t be bothered….

Positives are that I definitely am not in full-nesting mode today.  I can’t be assed doing anything.  So you must be wanting to hang in there for a bit longer.  I’m not frenzied at all (I think I’m the most removed from that you could possibly be); and all your clothes, stuff, whatsisgarbage that babies need is still in the top of the storage cupboard.   ….

love mum

P.S. Officially 36.5 weeks…