my-speck

i'm pregnant and it's going to be a rollercoaster

Blood Tests for Babies – erk. I’m feeling sick just thinking about it. July 29, 2010

Filed under: baby stuff,baby's feelings,family,healthcare,Parenting,Raising a Child — rakster @ 11:57 am
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Hello Poogie,

So. Feeling very nervous. Have just consumed most of a family-sized block of chocolate in an upset/nervous/tension-filled empty moment. Yes, single “moment”, not plural “moments”. I literally inhaled it.

We are back from holidays and in organising mode I phoned the pathology lab yesterday to see how far in advance of your next doctor’s appointment I need to get the blood and other tests they want you to have done. And I was thinking about a week out from the appointment. Then got told a month out. Which was last week. So today it is. We are off to the hospital as soon as you wake up from your morning nap for a blood and other pathology tests.

And you know how I hate needles? I’m sure you know that, as I told you enough times when I was pregnant about the fact that I was just getting all these needles for your good, not mine.. And some of my experiences with needles lately haven’t been the greatest: my experience in a birthing suite with some bleeding during pregnancy, and a bad experience that I didn’t go through in this blog but did happen when they were trying to get a line into me for my surgery. Anyway, I hate needles at the best of time. Worst when I’m having to have one stuck in me. I thought. Until today. Now I’ve realised that I hate them even more when I have to think of one getting stuck into you. AAAAAAAAGHH…. (vomitous feeling, chocolate coming up my throat).

Just needed to get out some nervous energy. Erk. You’ll be fine, I’m sure. I’ve packed three of your favourite books, and a tub full of pomegranate seeds and sultanas, your favourite.

You’ll be fine.

You’ll be fine.

You’ll be fine.

I’ll be not fine.

love you
mum

 

Finger lickin’ goodness. May 14, 2010

Filed under: baby's feelings,bad parent of the day award,eating,emotion,Parenting,pregnancy — rakster @ 5:45 pm
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Alternately: “Is my dad a cannibal or did he bite my finger by mistake?”

Hello!

Bad Parent of the Day Award today – very simple.

DAD. For biting your finger as he was attempting to eat some food that you were offering to share with him.

Your reaction: disbelief, then loud crying and screaming.

End result: 20 minutes later, red swollen finger….

ooow!! someone bit my finger

ooops.

love mum

P.S. Note, you were hungry. As per the photo, you continued to try to eat your spinach and cheese muffins with blended roasted vegetables through the tears.

 

Ok. People warned me about smelly poos when you moved onto solids. They should have been more specific. Yoghurt is the worst. November 25, 2009

Filed under: baby's feelings,Parenting,Raising a Child — rakster @ 4:38 pm
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Oh my goodness. You smell like a gross thing. Here I was, thinking I was coping with the newly changed poo-situation quite well. Until this morning.

Another poo on the mat, floor, all over you episode. But this time with me trying not to gag as I wiped you down and washed everything, including you.

poo on the mat

lovely. Stinky poo to roll in.

Yerk. It was definitely the yoghurt. I mentioned it to someone else today, and they said, “oh yeah, yoghurt was the worst”. I wish I’d been warned. I would have added it to your diet a little later.

Gross.

rolling in the muck

happy as a pig in mud. No, as a baby in poo. Muck. Yuck.

Yet you still looked so happy, rolling around in it when I got out from the shower. Needless to say, the clean-up took a while, but not as bad as last time. And, due to the requests last time, I did stop to take a photo. What the heck, you already had it all over you.

love you stinky poo pants
mum

 

Your first food: Avocado November 1, 2009

Filed under: baby stuff,baby's feelings,development stages,Parenting,Raising a Child — rakster @ 8:27 pm
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Hello Poogie,

Well, look out whomever gets the next nappy ’cause you had your first non-breastmilk meal ever today!  Your dad did it on the sly, you just shared some of our lunch with us.  Your dad had made a nice platter of things to snack on for lunch:

the first supper - our lunch platter ...

the first supper – our lunch platter …

and decided that your first food would be avocado from our lunch platter.  So a bit of avocado mashed up on his finger served as your first taste of non-breastmilk food.  And you were stunned.  You turned your head up and looked up at him with your mouth open for a good two minutes or more.   As if to say,

“what are you doing to me? It’s not bad, I don’t think.  I’m just very confused.  Not at all sure what to do.  I’ll just stare at you, maybe you’ll give me a clue?”.

Your dad made munching or eating noises and movements with his mouth, and eventually, you tried to close your mouth and follow suit.

avocado eating from dad's finger

avocado eating from dad’s finger

And after the first bit, which stayed in your mouth for quite some time, you started to swallow.  And seemed to enjoy it.  You then actually started seeking-out avocado-laden fingers and pulling them into your mouth.

avocado eating - more

searching for the avocado with your mouth

I don’t know how much you actually ate, but you definitely swallowed some, and looked very contented afterwards.  And were very tired.  So then you had a big sleep.

20091101_eating0420091101_eating05

20091101_eating06

Next time you’re getting Farex though.  Farex (rice meal) with boobie juice mixed in.  I suspect you won’t like it as much as avocado.

Happy Eating.  Welcome to my favourite pasttime!

love mum

 

Not Doing – Attachment Parenting. Doing – Neurotic Mother. October 16, 2009

Filed under: baby stuff,baby's feelings,family,healthcare — rakster @ 5:06 pm
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Hello Poogie,

Well, the a week has passed since I’ve been made unable to walk. I’m now proficient at hobbling on my crutches to the bathroom in the middle of the night with the lights out and managing to avoid all small-baby-toy obstacles that may have been placed in my way without falling over (touch wood. tonight will be the night I go flying now, won’t it?). And I’ve changed. Well, perhaps not changed, just a few personality traits have become more prominent…

I’M A GODDAM CRAZY-ASS CONTROL-FREAK INSTRUCTION-GIVING NEUROTIC MOTHER.

And, the only one you have, I might add.

….

So cheers to my long-suffering sister, your Aunt Reegs. And to my waking-at-6am and not stopping until 10pm feverishly working, caring and cooking husband. I apologise. Retrospectively for the annoyances I’ve already piled on you and in advance for all the more horrid things I’m bound to do over the next few weeks. Sorry. I’m trying. I really am. But it is hard.

Poogie – I cried last night when you cried. I can’t get up to help you and cuddle you. And you dad was losing his patience a little bit ’cause you just screamed solidly in the ‘I’m dying’ mode for 20 minutes. I unhelpfully suggested that you should go in the sling. I knew I shouldn’t say anything, its just so hard to be there and hear you. I told you dad I wanted you. So he took you outside. I cried while you were gone. It is the mother-guilt thing. And the heartbreaking noise of your cries. And the frustration of being stuck, a prisoner on the couch. Not being able to pick you up.

Your dad quietened you down a lot, then bought you back in to me. He is a lovely man (patience of a saint). And I rocked and bounced you to sleep in my arms on the couch. It was good to watch your beautiful little face. And to know that I could settle you even if I can’t walk.

…

So. Yes. Attachment parenting. I don’t do it anywhere near the letter. I think its good for babies to have some alone time, and some time on the floor. Well, its good for you, you like it. And sometimes you get annoyed at being held, and are happy when we put you on the floor. Maybe its just the change in perspective. Anyway, though I don’t do attachment parenting to the letter, I do think that in general, lots of baby-wearing is good too. So I generally sling you about frequently. When I’m doing the washing. When we go for a walk that isn’t too long. No need for an excuse. Anytime is generally good. You have 4 different slings, three of which get lots of use.

  • Baby Bjorn for long walks. It seems to support you well and is good when you fall asleep. And good for jobs when I need both of my hands or are bending over.
  • Slingalong for short stints.  Its great now you’re bigger to go with when we go in and out of the car, ’cause its so fast to put on and off, and you love sitting in it.  But we still have to hold you with one hand, so not good for long distance walking or hand-busy things like cooking..
    the slingalong baby sling with poogie and dad

    the slingalong baby sling with poogie and dad

    sling loading poogie

    sling loading poogie

  • the sling that is just made out of a bit of material.  From the wear your baby website.  Easy to make, lots of ways to wear & experiment.  And you like it.  good for bouncing you around it.

    wear your baby - forward in the sling

    wear your baby – forward in the sling

Right. So why am I neurotic??

Because I’m having to restrain myself from saying, each time you cry and your dad or your aunt look after you:

“Maybe he wants to go in the sling.
Try the sling.
Have you tried this kind of sling yet?
What sling are you going to use?
Are you just going to carry him?
No, you should really try the sling.
He loves the sling….

“

And I’m failing at least 3 times a day.

See. Neurotic. And that is just one example.

Sorry family. Love you Poogie.

mum

P.s. Note to self.  Relinquish control of parenting techniques to those who are actually caring for the baby.  Relinquish control of parenting theories to thoughts when the baby is screaming and someone else is dealing with it. ..

P.P.S..  You still are breastfeeding, of course, and this is still something only I can do.  And you and I have our time to feed, and for the most part, its still beautiful.  I don’t need to be able to walk to do it. And I can see you still love me.

P.P.P.S.  And you still come and play with me on my belly (I’m lying down on the couch most of the day).  And we move outside to the day bed on the front verandah and look at the trees.  And talk and tickle and place there too.  So I’m not doing too bad with attachment.  Just can’t sling you about like normal.

 

i officially have a cankle. Yes, singular. And you don't like bottles all that much! October 11, 2009

Filed under: baby stuff,baby's feelings,healthcare,Parenting,Raising a Child — rakster @ 12:16 pm
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Hello Poogie,

Well. Today is Sunday. I’ve just given you a big feed and you are grunting away in your cot. We’re hoping you’ll have a sleep, but you seem to be resisting. I can’t come and get you as I’m lying on the day-bed, foot up on a pile of pillows. I have a big fat ankle underneath a leg that is in plaster. The ankle is now offically reconstructed. Despite wishing on Friday that I could go back and undo the decision to have it done, its all ok. I got the ankle operated on last Thursday, and we came home on Friday. Right now I can make it to the bathroom and managed to mostly shower myself this morning, but that is the extent of my mobility. I’ve got crutches which I’m still learning how to use (I’m giving myself gold stars for finally after three days having come up with a way of using them to get up from the toilet – that was tough before). So you’re relying on your dad for all assistance with moving and care. Apart from the feeding. You stilll come visit me for that. And you do come and play with me: sitting on my tum and doing some talking a few times a day.

So. Thursday went pretty well overall. You and your dad came in with me to the hospital at an ungodly hour in the morning, then we waited for hours as I was the last operation on the morning’s surgery list. You had a good feed and were happily sleeping in your pram when I got put into the wheelchair & wheeled off down into the basement of the hospital for the surgery. I was a bit nervous, but feeling ok about it. That was until I was sitting by myself in my wheelchair in the pre-op area when I heard the screams and cries of a small boy. I just lost it at that point and started bawling. Good timing as the anaethetist came to put in my canula at that point. She explained that where I was was connected to the recovery room, so the little boy was just waking up from having his adenoids out. And wanted his mum. It was horrible to listen to. I felt so sorry for the kid.

The surgery itself was fine. I had a spinal anasthesia so that I could breastfeed you straight away, so I was awake for the operation. I had a mild sedative to keep me calm and just chatted with the anaethetist and the anaethestic nurse while the surgeons did my ankle behind a sheet. While I was getting operated on, your dad took you for a walk outside. I had expressed some breastmilk for you and he had just taken you to your grandad’s office and was going to heat it up when the nurse called him to say I was back in my bed on the ward. So you came and found me and immediately had a great big feed and a cuddle.

in the hospital bed with baby

you and me in the hospital right after I got back from surgery

You and your dad then stayed with me for the rest of the day, going home at around 7pm after I’d given you two huge night feeds. It was hard to see you go home with your dad: I’d not spent a night apart from you since you were born. I cried a little bit.

you and your dad going home at night... leaving me at the hospital. the view from my bed.

…

Your dad tells me that you were very well behaved at home. He gave you your nightly bath, then tried to give you another feed with some expressed breastmilk from a bottle. Apparently you looked very confused about the whole thing, especially when you tasted the milk from the bottle. And you weren’t really into it, I think you only managed a few sucks. But you slept right through the night as normal anyways. He got up after five in the morning and heated you some more breastmilk, and when you woke you were still a little confused by it all, but since you were hungry you had about 80ml. Enough to keep you going for a while.

I had a bit of a shocking night in the hospital myself, the lady in the bed beside me fell out of her bed at 10pm and there were nurses going back and forth for the next four hours. Then there were the normal checks every hour. I woke at 5 am with the sun. Ready to go home. I called your dad at 6:30 to check what time you were coming in, to see if I should express to empty my very full boobs. Thankfully, he was already getting ready, and you guys arrived at just after 7. Your Aunt Reeg brought you in while your dad went to park the car. I gave you a big feed and you seemed happy. A few hours later we were able to get out and go home. Yay. Me wobbling on my new crutches.

SO.. All in all, it worked out well. I was really nervous about the whole thing. It was a bit more difficult than expected as the hospital was really not very baby-friendly, and sharing a room with four people wasn’t great with you, but you were really well-behaved and so it was bearable. And most important, you and I are both ok.

you playing on my tum as I lie on the day-bed with my foot elevated. My cast in the background.

Since then you’ve been looked after by your Dad and Aunt R, and have been loving all the attention from family who have dropped by to see us. I think you’re a little grumpy at me for not picking you up or playing with you quite as much as normal (well, maybe confused rather than grumpy). But you’re generally still your smiling little self.

Love you
mum

ps. and you seemed to sense that I was upset in the hospital when I was in a bit of pain post-op, and you were so good about it. And again when we got some bad news on Friday. Big hugs. thank-you.

you love the attention! three aunts in attendance.

 

You're twelve weeks old September 11, 2009

Filed under: baby stuff,baby's feelings,development stages,Parenting,Raising a Child — rakster @ 11:04 am
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Hello Poogie Woogie,

Well. Days are flying by and all I seem to do still is feed you, change you, get you to sleep (though you’re pretty good at that yourself, I must say – compliments). Repeat. Oh. That’s not true. We do lots of talking practice and read books and practice mouth movements in between too. But basically my whole day gets sucked up playing with you and looking after you. Its crazy. I knew it would be like this but at the same time its still very different from what I expected. The time is flying by but it isn’t at the same time. You’re 12 weeks old tomorrow.

So, what have you done in the first twelve weeks? So many things:

  • learned to look at us and interact with your eyes (you can now beat me in a staring competition and you sure are expressive with your eyes)
  • learned to smile and giggle and laugh with people who are talking to you
  • learned to use your hands – putting them in your mouth and staring at them close-up to your face, starting to grab things and hold on (only just)
  • learned to hold your head up when you’re in tummy time and look around – you’ve got much stronger than when you first came home from hospital
  • learned to practice talking. You’re not quite babbling yet, but you’re almost there – lots of ohhh, ahh noices. Your current nickname (from your dad and I) is “Apu”. We’re thinking of it being your second name.
  • learned to put yourself to sleep. Now this one is pretty good. I’m proud of you for this. When you”re tired, as long as you’re not overtired, we can pop you down in your cot, maybe slightly swaddled, and you’ll go to sleep by yourself, quite happily. WHen you’re overtired, nothing works but putting you in the sling and bouncing you around for 5 minutes. And listening to a bit of screaming in the meantime.
  • learned how to breastfeed MUCH better than when you started. Ahh.. And the best – you’re good at it lying down too.
  • learned what being scared is like (at the football)
  • learned how to listen to stories being read to you
  • learned how to poke your tongue out at me (imitating me poking mine at you)
  • and grown out of three sizes of clothing (you’re now a size 00 – been through 00000, 0000 and 000).
  • … the list goes on …
  • and finally this week you’ve learned what it is like to get diarrohea (and mum has learned how many nappies it is possible to go through in one day. Hundreds. By the way the doctor thinks maybe the diarrohea is from your Rota virus vaccination, but you’re otherwise ok in that you’re not dehydrated, your temperature is normal so its all good).

you sleeping this morning - 12 weeks old. In your normal 'arms-out' position

I had to count through the calender today to work out how many weeks old you were – for some reason I thought it was more like 14-15, but then I figured you weren’t quite 3 months yet, so I had to be wrong…

So. We’re down to Lismore with you for the night tonight, and then hopefully the beach with you tomorrow. I am going to have to find you a sun-safe suit to wear. Your Aunt R kindly gave you some excellent new swimmers that will hold everything in (like a tight wet-suit) and you have the gorgeous board shorts from A-M, so you’re good for swimming, but might need more for extra coverage during the day… And a new hat.

🙂

love you

mum

Me and You Today - 11 weeks 6 days. Gee you're big!

Me and You Today - 11 weeks 6 days. Gee you're big!

 

Playing with Mr Finklebottom September 2, 2009

Filed under: baby stuff,baby's feelings,Parenting,Raising a Child — rakster @ 6:53 pm
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Hello Poogie,

Today was very busy. So now we’re having some play time with Mr Finklebottom (L named him a few weeks ago for you).

poogie and finkelbottom

you and mr finklebottom

We’re singing a modified version of Mr Peter Rabbit (after your Aunt R sang it to you on the weekend and I remembered I know it too: another nursery rhyme)!

Love you
Mum

 

Maternal Love Overload August 19, 2009

Filed under: baby stuff,baby's feelings,development stages,emotion,Parenting,Raising a Child — rakster @ 12:32 pm
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Hello Little Poogie,

YOU ARE SO CUTE.

Yes, I’m shouting.  Cause you are the cutest baby on the planet.  In my slightly, oh just slightly, biased opinion.

This is just a quick note to let you know that I haven’t been writing because I’ve been consumed by you.  You take up all my day.  It used to be just feeding and sleeping and washing and the like.  But now that you are awake more and practising talking noises, its playing, reading books, talking practice, discussing politics etc.   Well, I talk to you about politics.  That conversation is  a bit one-sided.  Goo-goo ga-ga is more your style.

Anyway.   I’m not sure what has happened, but in the last week or so something has definitely gone on with my hormones.  They have kicked in with a big shebang once again and just made me fall totally head-over-heels in love with you.  Crazily. Scarily.  OMG if someone does anything to you I will tear them limb from limb with my bare hands – slightly psycho-ly.

Just so you know.  This may well pass, but right now I’m all loved-up and you are the best.  Even when you do large explosive foamy disgusting smelling poos that leak out all through your clothing, your wrap, into your carseat, and seep down through the holes into the car.

poo!

poo!

No, I don’t like cleaning it up, but I still love you!

smiling and talking

smiling and talking

love mum

p.s. you are 8 weeks and four days old today.  And two months exactly tomorrow!

smiling!

smiling!

 

One week old and Oscar is your name-o. June 28, 2009

Filed under: baby stuff,baby's feelings,birthing,exhaustion,pregnancy — rakster @ 5:48 pm
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Hello Little Oscar! (you’re 8 days old today)

oscar snuggle time on day three. 23/06/2009

oscar snuggle time on day three. 23/06/2009

Welcome to the world again.  Well, the world outside my womb that is.   I’m suffering from sleep deprivation, sore boobs (cracked, grazed and mastitis-ised – erk) but otherwise great – I love you lots and have been spending hours staring at you each day.  I’m really glad that you came out through my VJJ without the need for any drugs, or other medical intervention (apart from a few stiches afterwards): I can’t imagine the last week and coping with all that your dad and I have had to learn on top of recovering from major surgery etc.   So!  All good.   I went for a walk today with your dad and you – a short one, but one nonetheless, and we’ve managed to get you in the car and out of the house every day to pop out and do something.  Tiring, but makes me feel like I’m not totally beholden to your needs 24/7 and makes it all just a bit more copable.

Anyway, life is rather hectic and so I’ve only just managed today to look at some of the photos we took of you in the first few days and pull a few out to share with some people….

I also need to sit down and find the time to finish writing your birth story while its still fresh in my mind. Might have to be in short-attention-span installments… Will try to get to that too…

So here they are: some shots of us getting ready for you to arrive and then a few from your first few days: Photos of Oscar

Summary of today is that you’re the best thing ever and you’re gorgeous and I am really glad that the lactation consultant showed me how to feed lying down yesterday. I can’t believe they didn’t show / talk about that at the hospital. Ahh. You like it to. You are currently milk-drunk and hanging out with your dad and aunt 3 & T on the verandah.

Love you

mum