my-speck

i'm pregnant and it's going to be a rollercoaster

goodness, is this a practice endurance workout? April 21, 2009

Filed under: development stages,pregnancy — rakster @ 5:17 pm
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Hello Speck!

I wrote this morning that you’d been active.  Well, was that an understatement.  Just a quick note to let you know that I think this has been your most active day ever.  You’ve been kicking and punching and generally rolling around in there for hours.  Are you bored?

I have been sitting at my desk tapping away on my computer and working, perhaps you’re just sick of staying still for so long?  At lunch I played the tap-tap game with you: where you kick, I tap, and then you return the tap with a kick, then I tap about 2cm away and then you kick there.  I got you kicking up near my lungs and down near my belly, all on the left side.  And you lasted for ages, about 9 or 10 taps.  Your previous record was about 4.  So stamina, concentration increasing it seems?

The other alternative is that you’re just getting so squished by now that you’re uncomfortable so you are incessantly moving to try to get comfy?

We will never know.

love you

mum

 

Antenatal classes mark one April 3, 2009

Filed under: birthing,development stages,dreams,exercise,healthcare,pregnancy — rakster @ 9:47 am
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Hello there speck,

Hope you’re sleeping well…. I certainly didn’t. My maternity pillow certainly helped, but all in all it was a horrible night. I tossed and turned (albeit not with the speed and ease I’m used to) all night, kept awake by a plethora of exciting things: back pain, the nightly possum migration from the neighbours to our house and visa versa via the window awning directly beside our bed, pubic symphysis pain, and a rowdy and recurring bat fight presumably in a fruit tree nearby. Yippee!

Your dad and I walked up to the first of six antenatal classes at the hospital last night. It was a manageable walk, we were both thinking that when the time comes it might be easier to walk to the hospital than drive. That said, I’m glad we have five more antenatal sessions to get to: your dad is directionally challenged at the best of times, and I can forsee him getting me to the oncology ward instead of the mother’s hospital unless he gets to practice how to get there at least a few more times…

The class itself was kinda funny.  It would be really hard to pitch a class like that to such a mixed audience – it was the “changes in your body” or something like that class, run by a phsyio.  Essentially we talked about some of the obvious changes that can happen to your body, and did some exercises to stretch our pelvises and relax and stuff like that.  All pretty straight-forward, and if you hadn’t worked it out by this point in the pregnancy you’d have to have had your head under a blanket pretending you weren’t pregnant.   There were about eight couples in the class, ranging from 25 to 31 weeks pregnant.    We practiced getting in and out of bed and picking a baby from the floor and putting it on a bed and picking it up again.  You were played by a big white hospital pillow.  Well acted.  While it was ok, I’m looking forward to the bit run by the midwives where we get to see the birthing suites and talk through more about baby stuff and less about pubis bones.  I think that will be more relevant to me.

Had another appointment at the obstetrician today.  I’ve hit a new milestone in the weight department.  Yippee again.  Still walking / cycling / yoga or something nearly everyday, but I guess I’m eating more than normal too.  Oh well.  Have a glucose test and a bunch more blood things scheduled for Monday, so hopefully that will prove that I’m all ok and just a bit fat (i.e. not diabetic or anything).   Not much to report from the obstetrician, all he did was ask if I was ok, at which point I burst into tears, and then he hustled me in to take blood pressure and hear your heartbeat.  My blood pressure is all good.  And your heartbeat was a bit irregular but we poked you and it went back to fast again.  Apparently its normal for your heartbeat to change speed a lot, often as I change position etc.  He also palpitated my uterus and your head is pointing down where it should be.  Which I knew already as your kicking my ribs on the bus on the way in indicated where you were quite clearly.

Otherwise. Starting to think more seriously about the fact that you’ll need a name.  Your dad and I have  a few options that we’ve come up with, and one or two we even like.  I guess though we need to ponder some more.  And see you.

Keep safe.

love mum

p.s. last night in between anxiety attacks and nightmares consisting of work and family-related melodramas, I dreamt that you were born, but that somehow there were four of you.  I was trying to leave the hospital and having difficulty working out how to get four babies home.  My dad (your grandad) and my mum (your grandma K) were both there.  I remember I just kept saying over and over to your grandad, “I don’t understand.  There was only ever one when they did the scans.  Where did the other ones come from?”.  He just shrugged and continued to try to help collect you all…

 

week 25! 102 days to go. I’m starting to think about things like whether to dispose, nappy system or just good old simple nappies? But mostly I’m still thinking about food. Figs this weekend. March 15, 2009

Filed under: cooking,development stages,pregnancy — rakster @ 5:21 pm
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Heya Speck,

102 days till you’re slated to join us.  Apparently you’re just like a little baby inside my uterus – now you’re just getting bigger and bigger.  I’ve already put on 12-13 kg, so I expect I’m going to go above the averages as everything I’ve read tells me that you just grow a lot from now on.  I can still see my feet.  And I can still see my fanny.  Two things which will apparently disappear soon.   Well, disappear from my normal line of sight.  More ce la vie.  If I get bigger I get bigger. I’m hungry most of the time.  So I eat.  Not bad food, just a lot of it.  I figure you need it.

On the eating front – this weekend its fresh figs.

fresh figs

fresh figs

They are in season, so I bought a box.  Made fig ice cream yesterday, which tastes good but is all the wrong texture.  My ice cream maker (well, actually your grandmother K’s – I stole, I mean borrowed it years ago) has finally given up the ghost.  I’ve been contemplating buying a new one and keep wavering.  But after the fig ice cream taste being so good but texture so bad, I am convinced we need one.  For your sake too – homemade ice cream is sooo much better for you than bought stuff.  Not to mention the taste.  So I’m going to finally invest and buy one with an in-built compressor.  It is just too hot here in Australia to make any more than one batch in the variety that you bowl in the freezer.  And when I make ice cream or sorbet I generally want to make a bit at once.  If I have to do all those dishes, I may as well make it worth the effort.  Yay.   I am looking forward to a new one.  Maybe I can make your dad an ice cream cake for his birthday with at least three different flavours. That sounds like a plan.  You like ice cream too.  I can tell.  That’s why I want to eat it all the time.  More than normal even.  And fresh is better.  So ice cream maker purchase here I come.

fig ice cream

fig ice cream

What else? Well, I have been reading about nappies.  Its all too confusing.  I think I’d like to not use disposables all the time, so I started to look at the difference between plain old old-fashioned nappies, and the new washable nappy systems.   I am now just thoroughly confused.  Think I might buy some of both and see how it goes.  Or how you go. Who knows?  And how do you try to decide between the different brands without trying them?

Hope you’ve enjoyed the figs.  Tonight for dinner is fig, blue cheese, almond and rocket salad.  That is my plan anyhow.

love you

mum

 

windscreen washing the inside of my uterus March 11, 2009

Filed under: baby's feelings,birthing,development stages,exhaustion,healthcare,pregnancy — rakster @ 9:11 am
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Hello Little Round Ball (’cause there is no way you are a speck anymore, its a round ball down in there…  you’re still my Speck, but your house is shaped more like a ball),

how are you?  I’m tired again.  Exhausted in fact.  Yes, I know I’m commuting Sydney-Brisbane, and that is a bit tiring, but I’m disproportionally tired.  It started last week.  The weekend was good but I could barely keep my eyes open at night.  We went to G&Ks for a barbeque on Friday night and it was only 8:15pm when I had to leave and go home – I was going to fall asleep at the table.

You on the other hand have been moving around like you’re in an aerobics championship.   You’ve got some new moves too – they started on Saturday.  Lying in bed on Saturday morning I noticed something different.   You now do big sweeping movements with feet and or hands – right across my belly.  If you can think of someone washing the inside of a car windscreen with big round movements, that’s what it feels like you’re doing.  Lots of that and less of the one-off kicking.  It feels pretty freaky to be honest.  It just lasts so long.  I think the short sharp kicks were easier to deal with.  And you’re definitely growing at a rapid rate, as now when I feel you moving around – I feel as though I can tell where your head, legs and arms are pretty often.  And every time you’re wiggling about and doing tumble turns.  Which is frequently.

I couldn’t sleep last night.  After a while, you woke up too and started to do the calesthenics.  You kick really hard now – if I’m looking at my stomach I think I can almost see where your foot pokes the stomach out.  Anyway, I figured that I may as well practice ‘training you in acrobatics’ for fun, like the girl I work with is going to do with her baby.  I thought it was a bit of a joke, but pushed just where you had kicked, and then you thumped back even harder than the first time.  I moved my fingers a few cm along my stomach from where the original kick was and pushed again, and, surprise, you moved and kicked back in the new position.  Funny.  I did it a few times after which you settled down again.   I then gave you a massage, which you seemed to like.  I’m starting to feel now that you’re really a little person in there.  Before you were just a ‘baby’.  Some kind of growing blob.  Now you are starting to feel more and more real.   I had a chat to you last night while massaging and I was wondering what you were thinking.  ‘Cause I think you’re thinking now.  I wish you’re Dad could feel these changes in you too – I think its definitely part of the ‘mum’ gets used to baby coming along part of being pregnant for nine months.  Last night you felt like a boy to me.  A month ago while walking home one night I had a premonition that you were a girl.   So, I obviously don’t know.

We went and met your obstetrician in Brisbane last Friday.  He is very relaxed.  He told me to eat anything, just avoid bungee jumping and advised not to take up heroin at this point.   I think I can manage that.  Your dad and I were surprised when we looked at the chart to see how big you are now.  No wonder I can feel you – you’re much bigger than a coke can (which is where I thought you were at).  I guess you won’t know him, but be reassured he is a very amicable person who seems supportive of what we want to do in the birth.  He is apparently well-known for only intervening and doing a c-section if absolutely necessary – chatting to him about this made me feel like he would be the right person to help us along.  I still wish to some extent that the model of care offered in Australia was more flexible though – while I like him, I’d also like for us to be able to choose our own midwife to come along and be there before, during and after your birth.  That’s not an option with the way the hospitals and medical system works today.  Which I think is a travesty.   But, ce la vie.   I guess you take what you can get and make what you will with it.  Hopefully your Dad and I will cope regardless.  As the doctor emphasised, the birth is going to be the ‘easy’ bit in retrospect.  Yep, it will be hard, and stressful, and most likely hurt a lot, but it will be over pretty quickly.  Wheras you’ll be with us for a long time afterwards.  To worry about forever more.

kisses
mum.

 

Welcome to week 23 February 26, 2009

Filed under: development stages,emotion,pregnancy — rakster @ 8:07 pm
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Hiya Speck,

As the title says, welcome to week 23. It’s Thursday night, and I’ve made it home to Brisbane after a very draining work week in the office. I’m currently sitting in the newly revamped local fish and chip shop, very happy that my first stop on an attempt to get take-out dinner is going to yield such good results… That might sound a little strange; but I’m picky on takeaway food. Your dad made me come by myself ’cause he loses his temper or feels anxious for me because he thinks I am not going to be happy with what I find take-away. Its more true maybe in a food court. There are often very limited vegetarian/pescetarian options. Anyway, a girl at the wedding last week mentioned that the local fish and chip show to our house in Brisbane had been redone and she’d eaten here and interviewed the owners and that it was good. And I’m impressed. Barramundi and salad for me and you.

Funny, I am reading the Kaz book week by week, and it’s often a bit uncanny how spot on the book is. Uncanny not as the things related to your development are as expected, spot on, but more the additional things. Like week 23 has a large section about travelling while pregnant, and travelling for work trips, which is exactly what I’m doing this week. And you with me. I think after taking about eight flights over the course of the past two weeks, I can now safely say that I’m sure that the pressure effects you somehow. You are definitely more active when we’re in the air. Lots of kicks and what not. I’m assuming its not in a bad way (the effect), but just different so that you are more active. Funny.

Off to eat my barramundi.

love you
mum

 

Gee, we've made it past half way. Its getting a little scarily close. February 13, 2009

Filed under: baby stuff,birthing,development stages,pregnancy — rakster @ 11:52 am
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Good morning Speckle!

Its Friday. And your dad, I and you are off to New Zealand tonight for a holiday. Brief sojourn before we head back to Brisvegas and our old house before you come along. I’m looking forward to it. I think you’ve got the excitement down there as you have been turning somersaults this morning. Or maybe you’d be doing that anyways? Who knows? you can’t talk yet. I guess it will be a while.

This week I’ve been a mixture of strangely calm inside and panicked in my mind about you coming VERY SOON, while at the same time being a bit, lah di dah, it will all work out. And feeling grumpy and generally very tired again. But still strangely calm. Hormones. They do strange things to you. Guess what? Its PAST HALF WAY. I was kinda ignoring it but coming down in the lift at work the other day I just had a bling, tah-dah moment, when I suddenly realised that it really was only just over 4 months and you’d be joining us. And we will be changing nappies, and trying to breastfeed you and cope with little sleep and you’d be cute and I guess I’d love you ’cause you were mine and “OH MY GOD”. Then I got distracted alternately by how famished I was and how much the person in front of me annoyed me and I promptly felt fine and forgot the panic.

I had to buy some maternity clothes last week, as the only clothes that were fitting were skirts which I just left undid and wore longer tops with. And new bras as each of my boobs are now as big as rockmelons and just as heavy and the bras I bought at 2 months pregnant just don’t fit anymore. Unfortunately that is not an exaggeration. Expensive but necessary. In the clothes department also I decided it was getting a little too much, and went and bought some new maternity pants and skirts. Coupled with the tent-like shirts that are in fashion at the moment I think I’ll be fine until you come now. You’re supposedly around 19 cm long this week and you’re just going to get bigger. As am I. By the way, the investment was worth it. I never thought I’d look forward to putting on ribbed material around my waist, but fashion statement or not, it is SOO much more comfortable than anything else and I never get out of it now. Good. So next week I’ll be alternately cycling round central Otago wearing slightly too small bike pants (didn’t upgrade those to maternity) and lounging in my oh-so-comfortable stretch-waist maternity jeans. Look out central Otago, you won’t know what has hit you!

Otherwise I’m starting to think we should be thinking about buying some stuff for you. We’ve got a cot, and we have a change table, but that’s about it. No, we have a bottle which someone left at our house once when their baby was little. So: one stolen bottle, one cot, one change table. What else do we need for you? We are going to get a pram this week in New Zealand, as the Mountain Buggy one we want is made there and is quite a bit cheaper. I guess we’ll need some clothes and nappies and the like too. I think it would be great to have a nappy service for a while – that might be kinda helpful. It would be good to have that taken care of for a while. My book suggested I could ask people just contribute to that rather than buying me flowers. I’ll get your dad to investigate.

How many clothes do you need? A friend from work sent me a link to a baby site that she recommended for basic jumpsuits and the like but I’m a bit confused as to what I should buy. Maybe I should buy a few so you have something to wear and then we can work it out after that? I don’t know. It will be winter, so you won’t be able to go nude. Actually, I forgot, your dad and I bought a baby change bag and a few blankets for babies in the January sales. So maybe we can just swaddle you in blankets and push you around for the winter. With some spare blankets and a camera in the baby change bag. Then you can go nude in summer. Really, it scares me how little idea either of us have. Consoling is the fact that everyone who has a baby seems to cope somehow. So I’m sure we’ll work it out and make some mistakes and whatnot but somehow muddle through. I am reminded of the time I was sent home from school in Grade one, six years of age, with a note for my father: “Please make sure <Mum> wears underpants under her school dress/skirt; cross-legged reading sessions require this”. Or words to that effect. Yep, I missed some undies some days. Nonetheless I think I worked out ok, I only occassionally forget them now.

Hope you’re well down there and enjoying the good food I’ve been eating. You must be growing as I am once again ridiculously hungry.
love and kisses
mum

p.s. your dad is now researching thingy bits that attach to the toilet so we can clean your nappies. Little Squirt. We thought they looked a bit expensive and then read the bit about them being toddler-tamper proof and decided that it might be worth it rather than a do-it-yourself option. He he.

 

Topsy Turvy February 7, 2009

Filed under: baby's feelings,birthing,development stages,healthcare,pregnancy — rakster @ 8:38 am
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Hi Speck,

well, I don’t need to say good morning, as you have been kicking away down there like mad, so I know you’re awake, and you’ve already said hello. You’re moving around so much now that in an active period, when you put a hand on my stomach it just feels like there is something moving around, even if you’re not kicking directly. Your dad attempted to tap tap to get you to respond today. One of the women I work with has told me that they are going to teach their baby while it is still in-utero – apparently different training if its a boy or a girl – things like acrobatic skills and music and counting. I’m unclear how the counting was supposed to work. It sounded a little wacky to me – something about visualing the number and the same number of an object, and your baby understanding that. Maybe I misunderstood? But the acrobatics was a little clearer: as you get bigger and kick, we tap the outside of my belly and get you to respond. We then train you to move around the belly responding to the tapping. Still, a little far-fetched for me, but what the hell, we might give it a go. Could be fun.

And you’re moving around a lot, not just kicking, just like Kaz said you would. Loop the loops, topsy turvy. Sometimes you’re down there marching on my bladder, and lately you’ve been trying to kick me up in the stomach. And I think you are trying to make more room by pushing my uterus up past my belly button. Which, by the way, is apparently where it is at now, according to the obstetrician yesterday. All very normal. Soon its going to get higher than that and I suppose, eating bigs meals will end entirely and the yoga breathing I have been practising will really come into its own. Here’s hoping. I can now fill up different parts of my lungs a lot more independently on demand. So making space when my organs start to push up on my lungs a bit more. I’m still struggling with the using my diaphgram and breathing in by pushing it down while trying to pull in and tense my pelvic floor and hold at the same time. Too hard to concentrate on both. Must practice more.

Went for our last (hopefully) visit with the obstetrician in Sydney yesterday. A lot of money for a “hi, how are you feeling, lets take your blood pressure, weigh you and listen to the baby’s heartbeat for a few seconds”. But you’re well, the ultrasound technician didn’t lie on Monday when she told us that you were in the normal ranges for everything in your scan. I asked about the nose measurement. Apparently good bridge-of-the-nose development is an indicator against downs syndrome. So, yours is strong and long. My placenta is in a good spot (who knew that there were good and bad spots before they got pregnant?).. Its at the front but more importantly apparently, up-high. And my cervix is closed. Its 4cm big. So its the spot that somehow has to open and let you through when its time for you to come out. Bloody hell. How does 4cm get to 12cm (or however big it needs to get???).

Anyway, its very hot and I’m going to go and relax.

love you
mum

 

so all your bits appear to be in the right spot, you've 5 fingers and an upper arm 2.19 cm long. February 3, 2009

Filed under: development stages,healthcare,pregnancy — rakster @ 6:38 pm
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Hiya Speck!

good news – all is well with you and you have 4 chambers in your heart, a lot of blood going around in different directions in your body (and seemingly – from the technician’s comments – you importantly have it flowing on both sides of your bladder), you have a stomach, kidneys which have a lot going on, a nose, lips, mouth and fingers and toes. In fact, the scan was quite exhaustive and lots of you was measured. You are in the normal ranges for it all. Your nose bridge bit got measured (why??).. And your upper arm (humerus) was 2.19 cm long. That was the only one I managed to ask about. The rest was too quick. Its all on the last page of the video we got.

Anyway. It was a little strange to see you down there. You are much bigger than last time and you were moving around like a crazed thing. In fact, you were kicking very hard. No I know why I can feel it – it was odd, but you were kicking at the same time as the technician was checking your legs, and I could see you kicking and feel it (right on my bladder – which was full due to the scan so it was very uncomfortable) at the same time. Bit freaky. So, you kick really hard by drawing your little legs right up almost parallel with your spine (very flexible you are!) and then moving them down and extending your feet all in one big very swift movement. I.e. A huge big kick very hard and fast. So that’s what I can feel. Your dad laughed a lot. You also look like you’re sucking or attempting to suck on the area around my placenta. Photos…

Speck - you at Week 19!

Speck - you at Week 19!

Woot! Exciting. I don’t think we need any more scans, so that might be the last time we see you before you come out. You have big thighs. Round and wide at the top like mine. And you have indents on your feet like mine too. We got a photo. Maybe all babies have them? I don’t know.

Speck - its you again!

Speck - its you again!

Anyway, I love you! I am excited and your dad is too.

Your foot at 19 Weeks.

Your foot at 19 Weeks.

Keep at it! Love mum

 

Kicking! Like a crazed soccer player. Or maybe you were attempting to practice throwing a frisbee and it was your arms doing all that pushing on my abdomen/bladder. February 2, 2009

Filed under: baby's feelings,development stages,emotion,exercise — rakster @ 8:26 am
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Good morning Speccie!

You have got bigger and stronger for sure!  Last night I felt SOLID big kicks/movements for the first time.  It was after watching the tennis, I went to bed and couldn’t sleep, so lay there and felt you moving around for a bit.  You really felt like you were wriggling around a lot.  I’ve read that you are more likely to be active at night as my walking about and moving rocks you to sleep during the day.

So, with my hands on my stomach, I laid there and practiced my yoga breathing and pelvic floor strengthening exercises (the fear of you tearing when you come out outweighs the laziness and I’m doing them every day).  Anyway, that seemed to stimulate you even more, and you went a little bit “Hi, I’m here, stop that and give me some attention.  No?? Well, I’ll just kick/punch you as hard as I can repeatedly!”  Or maybe, to be more  <mindblank word has disappeared. baby brain.  Insert appropriate word here>, you were perhaps just testing newfound strength in your little body and saying hello as best you know how.

I lay there for a bit longer and decided that not only could I feel you from the inside, but my hands could definitely feel you too.  So I woke your slumbering dad up (he is a bit used to it ’cause i do it relatively frequently when he has just fallen asleep in 3 seconds – or less – and I lie there for hours); and after listening to him grump a bit, got him to put his hand on my belly and push gently down near my bladder.  And you obliged and remained practising the kicks/frisbee-throwing action.   At first it was a bit softer, so I waited and then said out loud when you did a big one.  He didn’t feel it, but about half a second later you did an almightly HUGE GINORMOUS big one and he withdrew his hand in shock and disbelief.  I think he liked it but was actually a bit scared,  or shocked at how strongly he felt it.   Your dad then immediately went back to sleep after assuring me he felt you too.  So there.  You have made bodily contact with your dad and me now.  Good one.

This morning you are at it again.  Maybe you are hungry and letting me know.  I will go find some yoghurt & fruit to satisfy my and your hunger.

love you.

mum

p.s. we get to see you today for our check-up scan.  I hope all your bits are there and in the right spot.  I was worried about it last night so your kicking/punching was very well-timed ’cause it really helped put me at ease.  You really must have been doing a big aerobic workout so all your heart chambers etc must be fine, surely.  Anyway, we’ll see today. Hope the noise & intrusion doesn’t bother you too much.

xxx M

 

Hello little kicker! January 26, 2009

Filed under: development stages,pregnancy — rakster @ 8:05 am
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Good morning Speck!

I am sitting on the back deck in Brisbane and there are no human sounds around. Just the stripey marsh frogs going crazy in the pond/bathtub trying to get laid! It rained last night so they are pretty happy.

Happy Australia day! What that means to you is that its exactly 5 months ’till you’re due! Time flies when you’re getting big and pregnant, and having fun. Went out with some friends for dinner last night and I was asked if I’m excited about being a mum, which I’ve been asked lots before, but it just felt different for some reason (maybe hormones?). Anyway, the answer us most definitely ‘yes’, but also mostly that what I’m excited about is being a mum while your dad is being a dad, so just both having that experience and having a child together. Cause while your dad is often a numpty and grumpy and a total pain in the ass (more so the last two when he has been gap-filling walls in the heat and painting), he is also fun and I think he’ll be a great dad… (yep, the hormones must definitely be kicking in).

Other good news is that I most definitely felt you moving around down there last night in bed, you were squiming and had moved around to the left side when normally you feel like you’re on the right.

Let’s see if I can find a frog to take a photo of…. It’s wet down in the garden..
… No frogs, whilst they are loud they are still hiding.. But lots of eggs – which I got a photo of!

Love you
Mum