my-speck

i'm pregnant and it's going to be a rollercoaster

bye bye beach, hello winter… You must enjoy being home – a kicking squirming you has kept me awake again! June 9, 2009

Hello Speck,

We saw whales frollicking in the ocean yesterday, and had a great big lie on the beach, I think my stomach got a bit of sun so the outside of your home has a pinker tinge than before. But, we unfortunately had to end our holiday and come home 🙁 …. I miss the view already…

view from our room - whales and surf

So, we trekked on back from the coast yesterday and I’m back at my computer, tap, tap, tapping this morning. You are also awake and active. In fact, you’ve been awake and active for hours. Since about 3:30 am. I think you got annoyed with me lying on you so woke up and prodded me about until I moved, and you haven’t let up since.

Your Grandad is pretty sick, so we’ve been over to see him this morning and he says hello. You obligingly kicked away while we saw him to let us know you’re excited to meet him too. Otherwise its all a bit uneventful. Despite having written a list of things to pack in the hospital bag, I haven’t done that yet. So I have to get to that today or tomorrow. And then we’ll be ready to head off whenever. I’m starting to feel a bit nervous about you arriving again. I wasn’t nervous for the past few weeks, I was feeling pretty good about the whole thing. But now that its imminent, I’m starting to worry a little. Come on pregnancy hormones, where are you? Don’t desert me now!

I can see why people get sick of waiting and just want their babies OUT towards the end…

love you
keep on growing a bit more (but not too much – you have to fit through my pelvis).
mum

 

Beach holiday June 7, 2009

Hello Speck!

Here we are – we are all in a big house right on the beach at Byron.  Lovely with a view straight through from the living area and kitchen across the garden to the ocean.   The sea is a bit choppy and dirty due to all the recent rain and storms, so its not great for swimming, but the beach is good for walking… Its been a full moon, so every night you can see a trail into the distance across the waves and the ocean, leading out to a large fat full moon.  From your dad and I’s bedroom you can see straight out, so we’ve been sleeping with the curtains open and waking to the rising sun.  Lovely.

Galaktoboureko

Otherwise – its a full house and we are all having lots of fun.  Mostly cooking and eating.  Tonight we’ve got two desserts – I’ve made my greek galaktaboureko for the first time, and your Aunt St has made a gluten and dairy free lemon meringue pie…  Then for entree K has made chick pea pancake / fritters with an olive tapenade, olive boccocini and fresh lovely local roma cherry tomatoes.  There is stuffed capsicum and tomatoes coming for main, with meat for those who have that, and then stuffed squid too.   I think everyone was in the kitchen cutting, stuffing and cooking at the same time at one point,  enjoying the laughter and the good smells.  Notice I’ve started with the dessert.   Funny that is still my focus.  I’ve definitely had cravings or more like lustings for sweet food during my pregnancy with you.

Wanted to write and let you know we are still thinking of you.   L has been singing you songs as we went to the market and shopping today – he and his sister are quite excited that you’re coming to join us soon.   They are coming for a sleepover this friday night so they get one in before you arrive.  We’ve promised to cook smoothies for breakfast.  Anyway, L has been asking all about you – if you can hear yet, how big you are etc.  We’ve told him you can hear us, a bit like what you can hear when you’re underwater.   So, you’ve been getting renditions of songs learned at kindi and prep that he wants to share with you.

lemon meringue pie

And you are obviously gettting well fed.

Hope you’re well. Off to the beach for a walk.

love mum

 

Big stomach June 5, 2009

You’re growing down in there

week 37 huge pregnant belly!

 

 

excited. you are now officially full term and can come on down anytime. Week 37 hoorah. June 4, 2009

Hello little one,

how are you tonight?  I’m exhausted.  I gave up on working for a bit today and took some time out to go grocery shopping with your dad.  We now have hospital snacks for the birth bag.  And some food for this weekend!

YAY – we are going to the beach again.  S arrives tonight from Sydney – you and I are going to the airport to get her – and then after our visit to the obstetrician tomorrow we will head off down the coast.   The others will come a bit later in the day after work.   AHHH.  4 days of nothing.  and friends in a house on the beach.  and food.   I’m going to cook Galaktoboureko.   Yummo.

And we are going to swim.  It might be a bit cold.  But whatever.   I’m hotter than normal still..

So.  You’re obviously moving downwards as those sharp twinges that the pregnancy books warned me about are happening in much more earnest than before.  I believe its your head banging against my cervix.  A bit like shooting pains up from my groin.   But I’m thinking its a good pain as it means you’re moving closer to engaging.  So its all good.  Keep it up.  And you’re still totally crazily active at the moment.  Its like vesuvius down there in the lump that is my stomach.   So you’re doing something.  I have heard that generally babies go quiet for a day or two before coming out, so I reassured S today on the phone that you weren’t going to arrive early while we were at the coast.  She was a bit worried you might just pop on out.  And that everyone at the house would then want to accompany me to the hospital.  I said that they’d all just stay in Byron & then come and visit after you arrived, and that she would be lucky as she’d be one of the first to meet you.   Which got her excited.  But then she exclaimed, “But we couldn’t have the Bombe Alaska.  I mean, we could bring it to the hospital but I don’t think they’d let us light it!”

Mmm..Bombe Alaska.  See, you can look forward to a life with us of eating well.   I am looking forward to S’s Bombe Alaska and the beach…

yum yum

love mum

 

slightly happier with a raspberry smoothie June 3, 2009

Filed under: pregnancy — rakster @ 3:51 pm

Ok.  It’s true.  Raspberry smoothies do cure attacks of the grump.

raspberry smoothie - yum

raspberry smoothie – yum

Your dad is a champion smoothie maker.  You’ll see.

though he is already scheming about ways to get you to eat meat when you move onto solids.  I’m having no part of it.

 

Hospital Bag. What to take. June 3, 2009

Hello Baby,

well.  Aren’t you an active little volcano.  Your mum is very not happy this morning after a shocking night’s sleep.  It wasn’t all your fault, but mostly hormones.   Woke up at 2:45 am and my brain was just “BING – ON!”.   With all sorts of half-real imagininings and panic and stress.  Your Grandad, my work, your dad’s employment.   All non-you related things.   Things to do, people to see.   Aagh.  And then got a major attack of the itches all over my body for no apparent reason.  I almost convinced myself there was a small spider in the bed that had been feasting on me.  But examination in the bathroom revealed that was all just ficticious imagining.

An hour and a half later I finally gave up and got up, changed to the spare room and read my book for an hour.   Yann Martel’s “The Facts Behind the Helsinki Roccamatios’.   Thankfully I was past the first story – the title of the novel, as that one made me ball my eyes out for about 20 minutes before bed the other night (though in retrospect, although upsetting perhaps helped me sleep better as I was emotionally exhausted by it.  Needless to say the other night your dad did his usual “what the hell are you reading”.  Tried to steal the book and throw it away a few times.  I protested.  Crying sometimes is ok according to my book-reading philosophy.  Ended up he still had to comfort me after the story, with his usual grumpy hug.  But I ended up with the book – so this is what I read last night).  Anyway, the story I read wasn’t exactly uplifting – small sections of a warden’s account of a man’s last hours on death row – the account written to the mother.  About 10 different versions.  So not happy, happy, joy, joy.  But it worked.  Took my mind off whatever it was that had been keeping me awake and stressed, and I managed to go back to sleep.   You then woke me a number of times – your movements at the moment when I’m lying down seem to be pretty major.  Like all limbs and body flailing around like you’re playing volleyball in there.   Its actually pretty disconcerting but I take it as a good sign that you’re healthy.   But yeah, overall I missed a few hours of much-needed sleep so today am feeling a bit shabby to say the least.

Anyway, in order to appease the rising anxious nerves, I haven’t managed to pack a bag for the hospital.   But I have written a list.   So I’ve made a start.   And you dad is in charge of labour food (mostly for him from what people have told me, but we’ll see), and he has made his list too.   Neither of us have got any further than that as far as I know.   So my list:

  • your dad
  • me
  • camera, charger & memory stick
  • cards & games for if we get stuck in a maternity ward for hours with nothing to do.  Or just so we can play cribbage between contractions.   Wishful thinking on my part.  But I’m going with it.
  • my phone.  yes,  I’m addicted to my iPhone and it is coming along with the charger.   How else am I going to communicate with the outside world if there is no wifi / computer in the hospital?   What were they thinking – its a brand new facility, where were the wifi access points, we wondered when we did our tour?   Yes, again, I think you are going to subsume my entire attention after your arrival, and perhaps I won’t be thinking about the internet at all.  In fact I really think I won’t give a flying contraction.   But these are the deranged thoughts I’m frantically having as my ability to reason / think logically seems to desert me more each day the closer you come to arriving.   So I’m putting it on the list so that my brain can stop churning over it and worrying for no rational reason.
  • a bar of lemon myrtle soap.  So I can smell it if I feel like it in the delivery suites.   Its a good smell.
  • a big poster of the rainforest / waterfall to look at in the delivery suite.
  • nightie
  • jammies
  • toothbrush, paste, hair wash, moisturiser, hair band
  • daywear.  That is on the hospital’s suggested list.   What the hell does that mean.  I think I will just shove random t-shirts into the bag on the day.  Whatever is clean.  Pants are surely optional when you’re in hospital and have just had a baby.
  • new big boobie maternity bras (yay, I finally found one that fit when in Sydney a few weeks ago, and then ordered up from the states – they arrived yesterday so now I have enough big-boob over-the-shoulder-milk-holders to hopefully be comfortable.  For reference – Anita brand seemed to be the only ones that came in big enough sizes and didn’t make me look like I was a large mono-boobed monster and felt comfortable too).
  • granny knickers – yeah, I’m taking the advice of a friend and buying up a pack of granny knickers that I can THROW OUT soon after you’ve arrived and we’ve gone home.  I looked at the ‘wearable’ knickers – those incontinence knickers yesterday.  One of my friends who is due the same time was given some by another friend who recently had a baby and said they were great.   Yes, maybe convenient and I know some mums use them.  But I don’t know if I could bring myself to put them on.  Too much like your nappies.    It might just depress me.   I’ll stick with maternity pads for the moment.
  • my ugg boots
  • my ankle brace
  • nursing pads to stop my leaky boobies
  • maybe a few cloth nappies so that we can get the midwives to show us some nifty folding techniques to keep your liquid poo in.
  • clothes for you –
    • 6 singlets,
    • 6 growsuits,
    • a beanie,
    • 2 pairs of socks,
    • and a blanket to wrap you in for when you come home
  • and newly added as of yesterday, something stylin’ to wear home so I feel like a superstar mum.  My friend I visited yesterday had a great vintage long dress that almost glows radioactively there is so much orange and green from the 70s in it.   I don’t know I have that exact thing, but surely there is something in my wardrobe left that doesn’t make me look like a bloated whale.

Ok.  Got it all out.  Can now relax.  Schedule relax time.

Love you

mum

p.s. Byron Bay weekend beckons.  I think I really need it.

 

sore but otherwise all is well. And you’re endocrinologically all-ok based on my results too. June 1, 2009

Hello Speck!

Well, apart from the aches and pains increasing at a rapid rate over the past few days, all is going well.  We went for a visit to the endocrinologist this morning, and the blood results from last week are back in.  Summary:

  • Hashimoto is behaving well with my levels all good.  So you’re all good too.   I have to keep taking the medication at a slightly lowered dosage for four months after you’re born and then hopefully we can cut it out again.   So all levels of antibodies etc and the hormone itself are well within the normal range.
  • My red blood count is totally right up to the top of normal again after taking the iron supplements, so I’ll just stick with those and you’ll have enough.  Again, have to keep on it for a while after you come to cope with the blood I’ll lose and what not;
  • My haemoglobin levels are also back up to normal so all happy there;
  • My cholesterol is up but that’s cause of you and all should be good after you’re born;
  • And I am officially a lot fatter than when we started this whole process.  However, according to the endocrinologist, I look particularly healthy, energetic and good for someone who is nearly 37 weeks pregnant.  I.e. I didn’t labour into her office looking exhausted and swaying like a buffalo from side to side (that is my read between the lines on what she said).   She was quite surprised.  So after the last visit when she freaked me out about how much weight I had put on she said it was all fine, that I was obviously fit and healthly before getting pregnant and there was a lot of weight in my boobs etc, and some people just put on more weight.   And I was probably one of those people.  And as long as I stay away from junk food during breastfeeding, it should all come off.  Apparently breastfeeding is the only proven way to lose the stubborn and relatively intransient weight around the hips and thighs, according to her.  Its the one time it might move when generally it just stays put.   Good-oh, I’ve never really had fat hips, so I was a bit worried about that.  Anyway.  We’ll see how it goes.
  • And, last but definitely not least, my blood pressure is still very very good.  I.e. its the same as my normal blood pressure.  So she said that this late in the pregnancy it would be very rare for me to develop pre-eclampsia now – the blood pressure would generally be slightly elevated already.   Which it isn’t.  So yay.  More good signs for your impending arrival.

Your dad is officially sick of my complaining though.  I had a pretty sore weekend.  My hands and arms are really painful from the carpal tunnel (doctor said there is nothing to do about this).  My hands look very swollen like a little ogre’s hands.   Fat fingers.   They are now hurting all day and I can’t do things like brush my teeth where I have to grip the toothbrush.   Washing up is a bit hard too.   I’ve been trying to convince your dad this means I can’t wash up anymore but he doesn’t seem to be buying it.   In addition, my pelvis ache has worsened so now when I sit still for 10 minutes or try to lift my legs I get pretty bad shooting pains through the pelvic area, and I’m really stiff.  I’ve been going for walks, which helps, but still gets stiff when doing other stuff.  Rolling around on the fitball instead of sitting in a chair helps with that.  We went to the park yesterday for your cousin’s 2nd birthday and my hips and pelvis just locked up each time I sat down and getting up and off the picnic blanket was really hard!   And the reflux is bad too.  All day now, even when I haven’t eaten.  The doctor gave me some pills today which will she says will ‘make me a new person’ in two days time with respect to the reflux.  So I’m going to take them!  Yay.   So yes, I complain a little out aloud and your dad is over it.  But he doesn’t have to carry you about yet, so I just keep telling him to make soothing noises and deal with it.  So far, he’s doing pretty well (its only the grimaces that give his real thoughts away).

Enough about me.  Your new rocker arrived today too – yay! Its gorgeous and looks totally comfortable and fun and adjusts to lots of positions.  Hope you like it.   Good present.  It goes totally flat and totally upright and all configurations in the middle.  In fact, I think we could tip you upside down with feet higher than head if you really wanted.  You’ll have to let us know how it is.

your awesome giraffe rocker

your awesome giraffe rocker

so you’ll be able to rock-on like us 🙂

bad joke.

love you

mum

 

your dad cheated (or alternatively he was a creative problem-solver) and carpal tunnel attacks May 27, 2009

Hello Speck!

I got it wrong again – your dad didn’t win the celebrity babies (that was S of course & then K second), he won the “fill-in the nursery rhyme blanks” game.   Which I still find pretty amazing (they were hard).   But I got it out of him – how he did it.  Quite tricky really.   He collaborated.  With the 5 year-old L.   So your dad apparently sang the beginning of the rhyme to L & L just finished off the sentences.   Even the one about 3 men in a tub who apparently came from rotten potatoes (who would have known???).    It makes more sense now.   The baby food one I’m not as surprised about.

And I have worked out why my hands are so sore in the morning and why my arms keep being totally numb when I wake up in the middle of the night.  It seems I may have pregnancy-related carpal tunnel syndrome.   Another pregnancy-ailment that occurs mostly in the third trimester and should hopefully disappear when you’re born.   Something to do with the fluid retention in my hands and wrists and crunching up my hands when I sleep.  I’m going to try to drink heaps more water today and perhaps some camomile tea and see if that helps.  Its pretty painful, but goes away relatively quickly once I wake up and move my arms, wrists and fingers about (though this of course hurts).   Love the body changes with pregnancy.  You never know what is coming next.

Hope you’re well.  There is still lots of vigorous movement going on down in there so I suspect you’re not ready to come out yet.  Still in-training.

love you

mum

 

baby shower, shopping for growsuits, downward pressure and lots of washing May 26, 2009

Hello Big Speck!

Well, its been an eventful few days – all about you and you and you.

Baby shower number two was on Saturday – your wonderful honourary Aunt T & Aunt S (& uncle L) put on an amazing party for you.   Lots of games and fun and people being silly.  It was a mixed affair – so boys & girls and kids as well.  It was quite funny to look around the hall and see at one point everyone with their heads down, concentrating on writing, writing, writing.  Answers to games, and birthday cards for each of your birthdays up to 21.  Pretty cool.   Your dad was the surprise of the day – he managed to win not only the baby food guessing competition, but also the match-the-celebrity-to-their-children’s-names games.  Go figure.  I came last in that one.   Mmm.  However I did win the “how many pieces of toilet paper go around mum’s stomach” competition.   Everyone thought I was being overly optimistic in my estimate (i.e. read they all think I look HUGE and I don’t think I’m THAT big); however on checking my 9 and 3/4 pieces was a perfect fit.   See, I know how big we are.  Your smaller Uncle J managed to catch everyone out many times by getting them to say “baby” out aloud using all sorts of clever conversational tricks, and collected a lot of pegs in that peg-collecting game.   And generally there was lots of laughter and running around.   And eating of tasty dips and treats all prepared by your dad (great hommus, babaganoush, tzitizki, garlic nuts, anzac biscuits -that was me, pita crisps, some kinda meat things that of course I didn’t eat)…  Oh, and how could I forget the “spit the dummy” competition.   Not surprisingly, the men seemed to excel at this one.   It was hard to remember not to eat and spit the dummy at the same time.   🙂

your dad practising baby handling with the baby bjorn

your dad practising baby handling with the baby bjorn

Yes, and we got a great shot of your dad practising baby pacification techniques with the new baby bjorn and an astro boy doll.   He walked around with a fake ‘you’ in the sling for hours.   Not sure I’m with the ‘wine for baby’ method of settling, but we’ll see.  Open to ideas at this stage.

After baby shower action I was totally tired tired tired.   I seem to be that way at the moment.  You are waking at odd hours during the night, I’m waking myself with very strong reflux, and generally its pretty hard to get comfortable with a watermelon attached to your torso.   And the dreams are full-on.  Stressful and all-engaging.  I can’t seem to wake myself from them enough to realise its not real so I lie there for hours not sleeping thinking weird things are going to happen for sure.  Like I’m going to have to have to have a cook-off competition – muffins against some crazy person –  in order to be able to make sure I get all your clothes washed in time for your arrival.   Obviously important issues that my brain is turning over, translating into perfectly logical scenarios in my dreams.  Not.   At least I’m not dreaming you’re an alien or whatever.

So, the ‘getting things in order’ aka ‘Nesting’ bug has set-in.    Its pervading my dreams and my subconsious.   I’ve made it clear to your dad that we need the baby room ready.  We went through all the clothes and things we already had on Saturday night, and made a shopping list.   By listing all the lovely things people had already given us (lots) and working out what we still needed.   Mostly it consisted of mini-grow-suits and nappy buckets and the like.   So we  went off to do that on Sunday.   Shop, shop, shop.   Now, I generally hate shopping centres and shopping, but if I say so myself we did it pretty well,  a few major stops and we stocked-up on size 0000 grow-suits, singlets, a few pairs of socks, nappies (only found flannel soft ones), nappy buckets, a soft thing to put on the change table for you to lie on, vitamins, leaky boob pads, a thermometer for your ear.

So for day one, you’ll have:

  • four (4) – 0000 growsuits with feet
  • 3 long-sleeved 0000 tops
  • 2 -0000 long-pants
  • some socks (not sure how many you need.  We’ll send your dad out for more where necessary)
  • singlets
  • some little short-sleeved suits.  Though its a bit cold for that
  • blankets to be swaddled in
  • two caps/hats for your head to be warm
  • lots of nappies

All necessary baby things.  You got mostly white stuff and some bits of blue and pink.  There really are limited choices.   I’m not sure why its so boring, but there you go.  Stifle them from a young age maybe?   You missed out on new cot sheets as I refuse to pay more for a set of sheets for a 1m baby cot than I would on sheets for our full-sized queen bed.   Thankfully your Aunt R bought some of your cousins old ones over yesterday, so now you have something to sleep on.

On the shopping front – still to go is a baby monitor, and perhaps a breast-pump.   I don’t know how you possibly make a decision about which one of these items to buy – there are lots to choose from, they’re expensive and do you really need polyphonic rhymes on your boobs??  We were looking at these items in a baby shop towards the end of my shopping-attention-span.   I’m obviously confused.  The polyphonic bits were on the baby monitors.   As was the ability to play a CD through them wirelessly.   That is better than our house stereo.   Sorry baby, but that sounds a bit over the top to me.     Anyway, we ended up buying neither of these items – I think I’ll send you dad out when you arrive if either of them prove to be dire necessities.

Your dad has also been doing lots of things to get your room ready.  The cot is now all re-finished and ready to go!

your finished cot

your finished cot

And you?  Well, you’ve been moving around down in there quite a lot.   You and I went to the friendly obstetricians yesterday for our now fortnightly check-up.   All is good.  I peed in the jar, I managed to miss my hand (wooh! that is a good achievement when its hard to see past your belly to what you are doing down there with a little bottle), I’ve got a bit fatter, your heartbeat is dead-on average, my blood pressure is same as always (low).   Best of all, just as your dad and I thought, you have been making your way slowly down down down.   Your head isn’t ‘engaged’ yet, but its certainly lower than it was two weeks ago.  Now I can feel your head bulge right above my pubis bone.  And you kick me less in the ribs than before as you’ve moved down slightly.   So the obstetrician said all of that was a good sign – the moving down and the lots of kicking and moving that you do.   After coming home from the obs office, you seemed to have taken what he said to heart.   Yesterday was actually quite painful as it seems you were trying to worm you way into my nether regions, but they just weren’t quite ready for you yet.  Think sharp twinges and me wondering if you were going to come early.   I went for a very short walk after work and I thought that if I broke into a run (nigh impossible) that you might come flying out.   I’m sure you wouldn’t have, I guess I’m just not quite used to the amount of downward pressure that you have started to exert.   My hips and pelvis got pretty stiff and I couldn’t sit in my chair for work either – I’ve gone to the backwards on chair position, and am alternating with the fit-ball.

washing the baby clothes

washing the baby clothes

And finally.  Its stopped raining (though its still a bit overcast).   And since we have a bunch of new clothes for you, and a bunch of recycled blankets, sheets and other assorted items (care of your Grandma K & Aunt R), its time for washing.  So wash wash wash.  I did three loads of nappies and a load of whites for you yesterday.  While they looked very cute they took an age to hang out – lots of pegs!   Hopefully they’ll all dry today and then we’ll be almost ready to pack a bag for hospital.   But before we do that your dad and I are going to lie in them for a bit, maybe when we sleep, so they smell like us.  Lucky you!  Smelly clothes from day one!  Hopefully then you can get used to us and our smell will be familiar and good.

the first line full of nappies - this will become a common sight at our house..

the first line full of nappies – this will become a common sight at our house..

So.  Today.  Work work work and some more blanket and sheet washing.   Only about 10 loads to go!

Hope you’re well.  Sorry about the indigestion last night – you seemed to suffer through it and wake all night too.   We’re not going to eat rich potato gratin anytime near bed again.   I don’t like vomiting at 2 in the morning any more than the next person.

erk.

love you

mum

 

Bump picture May 22, 2009

Hello Speck –

So – this is your home, week 35.

See what I mean when I ask you to please stop pushing out as it is hurting my stomach??

It all really is getting pretty squishy down in there.  I don’t seem to have prominent stretch-marks yet, but it certainly feels like I am developing them.  However, I realise I’m lucky & I shouldn’t complain at all – there are a large number of women due at the same time as me on the forum I read who are having all sorts of painful complications:  gestational diabetes, early birth scares (with associated trips to the hospital, contractions, monitoring & drugs), pelvises that are totally out of whack (so much so they are using walking frames or are bed-bound), etc etc.

So really, we’re all good.  Your dad and I went for a walk last night, and the only thing that is happening is that my walking has totally slowed down now.  So its more of a meander.  Meander-waddle.  The weight out-front means that I do find it hard to balance.   So my waddle is getting more pronounced.   And its very hard to sit-up in bed when I’m lying down.  The muscles that do that just can’t cope with the additional weight of you and all the fluid you’re floating around it.

love you

mum