my-speck

i'm pregnant and it's going to be a rollercoaster

Raining and Kicking and return of Baby Brain May 20, 2009

Filed under: pregnancy — rakster @ 10:17 am
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Hello Speck,

its raining.  Its raining a lot in fact.  And has been all night and some of yesterday.  My limited supply of clothing is mostly wet on the verandah, so I can’t venture out in public until it ceases and dries.  My stomach has expanded to such an extent now that there are very limited clothes, even Maternity ones, that fit, so it is a bit dire.  But that’s ok.  You and I are having a pretty quiet time at the moment, so going around in stretchy yoga pants is totally an acceptable option.   So we’re taking it.

Days consist of waking up (you are waking about 6 am and having a big old play down there, which in turn wakes me), then staying in the warm bed as long as possible before finally dragging myself out to the shower.   Your dad is making us a lovely smoothie, then we leave for your Grandad’s house, where your uncle has invariably misplaced something and can’t find it in order to leave for school.  After that panic is over, we plug in our laptop and then tap-tap-tap away and work until R gets home after lunch.   Then we go home and see what your dad has been doing for the morning (currently finishing off the varnishing of your cot), and do some more tap tap tapping work.

Then its time to think about dinner and perhaps some exercise.   I look distractedly at the piles of washing and the stuff piled up in your room and the study that needs re-organising, get overwhelmed, so just chill out and watch TV or read a book.  You generally have a very active period from around 6pm onwards for a few hours, so I’ve taken to playing with you.  Simple games like pushing the foot around the belly.   Its very funny for me.  I think you like it too.   Small things amuse me at the moment.  Your dad thinks I am crazy (but in a good way.   He said fun & crazy & interesting).  Then we read a book for a while (currently on short stories again), and go to sleep.

The days are flying by at a roaring pace.  36 days to go according to the official count-down.   The weekends between now and when you come are chocka-block full with catching up with people, and going away, and a wedding and all sorts of stuff.  So please just wait a bit longer.   Until around 21 June would be good.   Then you’ll not only be full-term and ready, but I will have had a weekend away at a wedding and hopefully your room will be ready and my work will be finished.   And yes, work is much harder now.   Baby brain has returned with a vengeance.  It has come and gone about 5 times during the pregnancy.  Now its back.  I think the thing that is hardest is that I can only concentrate on one thing at once.  So my usual multi-tasking is just impossible to do.  And I have to write things down immediately I think of them / have a conversation with someone else I just can’t recall it five minutes later.  And if too much tries to squeeze into the brain all at once I just feel a bit overloaded & freak out.   So I’m taking one thing at a time.  Unfortunately work was supposed to be winding down but after the visit to Sydney last week there was a bunch more things I got given to do that have time constraints and what-not, so that is all full-steam ahead for a few more weeks.    So I am slowly working through each thing.

I’m a bit worried that you might come early.  I am still going to baby yoga at yogababy on Tuesday nights.  I’ve decided that even though there is a lot of talking, I like it more now.  I just take the bits I like from it and ignore the rest. And its an hour and a half where I can relax and think about you and feel pretty calm overall.   And its fun to gawk at all the other pregnant ladies.  There were about 26 of us last night.  All at least 18 weeks.   Its funny to see how differently everyone else carries their babies, and how big/small/different-shaped they are for how pregnant they are.  I think that overall my belly is a pretty big ball shape compared to others.  I am definitely bigger than a few women in the class who were at 39 weeks.   They were generally a bit less ball-shaped and round-all-over, wheras you really do look like I swallowed a big watermelon.   So yes, I’m thinking that you could come early, purely based on the size of my stomach.   Which of course is no real indication at all.

Anyway, just wanted to say hi.  I know you know I’m thinking about you, as we chat everyday and have a play too.  Your dad says hi, he also had a big long chat to you last night.

love you

mum

p.s. oh yeah, and your dad and I think we might have a name or two for you.  The boy one we’re pretty happy with – there have been omens over the past few days which are making me more sure.   The girl one we have a few more options but I’m sure we have something that will match you.   That is kinda fun.   You’re going to have a name!   But we’re going to wait until we meet you to decide – just to make sure.  And it will be secret to everyone else until then.   🙂   I guess we could ask you and play the tap-tap game to see if you have a preference…

 

On the move May 16, 2009

Filed under: birthing,pregnancy — rakster @ 8:46 am

Good morning!

What are you doing down there? My stomach now looks like I swallowed a rather large soccer ball, but this morning it’s become somewhat lopsided. You were head-down, but I think you’ve swung around and are now slightly side-on. The hiccups give you away a little as they aren’t so low down this morning, but much more definitely on my right. Ahhhh.

Stay the right way around would you! At this stage head down is what we are after….

Love you
Mum

 

hospitals and surgery (no, for everyone else except you… hopefully we’ll be avoiding the surgery bit when you come, and minimising the hospital bit too. But I’m getting more used to them – hospitals that is.) May 12, 2009

Filed under: exercise,healthcare,pregnancy — rakster @ 4:49 pm
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Hello Little Speckle,

Well, doctors, doctors, doctors.  Have spent the majority of yesterday and some of today around hospitals and doctors.

We (you and I) had a fun (not) morning yesterday in the oncology ward at the hospital, watching all sorts of people get needles and drips and what not.   Lots of waiting, waiting.  I was a bit stressed and then just got used to it.   You were pretty content with it all.   Not the funnest place on the planet to be, but not as bad as I expected it to be.

Then today we went to the specialist for my ankle,  remember I sprained it back when you really were only a little Speck?  Well, as they suspected, the orthopedic surgeon confirmed that my ankle needs surgery to repair it so I can walk, run and use it properly again.  They are going to have to tighten up my ligaments, reattach / move the reticulum around the ankle tendons, and then hopefully my tendons haven’t torn and all they need to do is strengthen them out and carve a deeper groove for them in my bone.  If I’ve torn them all to shreds they are going to have to take some tendon from somewhere else in my leg and then use it to repair the ankle.  Bone-grinding goodness.   Yay.   But as we knew, I have to wait until you’ve popped out before any of this can occur.   And once that happens, I am going to be unable to move around so much for a while, so basically I need to be able to pick a time when I can then afford to be on crutches for six weeks post-op to recover.   Yay yay yay lucky me.   So more fun stuff to look forward to.

Otherwise all is well.  You’re kicking around like normal and I’m feeling like a whale.  You and I are off to Sydney for the rest of the week tomorrow morning.  It should be our last plane trip on the way back, as I’m getting up to the no-fly time for pregnant people.   Its going to be busy, but hopefully we’ll get some time to chill out a bit too – not coming back until Saturday afternoon, so a little bit of hang-out and do non-work-stuff time in there too.  Anything special you feel like doing?  Well, you let me know…

love you

mum

 

my brain is a sieve. May 11, 2009

Filed under: development stages,emotion,pregnancy — rakster @ 6:21 pm
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ok. baby brain is back in a big way Speck.

What are you sucking out of me?

I can’t get it together.

-mum

 

Camping! Hurrah!!! May 9, 2009

Filed under: camping,pregnancy — rakster @ 9:56 am
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Good morning big Speck!

We left yesterday and are now here, sitting in the front awning of our tent, looking out over the trees with a hint of blue sea beyond. The bush turkeys are pecking around, hoping for some of the custard apple I am having for breakfast. It’s threatening to shower again – it rained most of last night, thankfully starting in earnest only after we’d managed to get the tent up and had just sat down with a bowl of dinner.

It is a bit of a sodden mess around the tent but the beach is beckoning and I’m going to go for a walk after I’ve lazed about some more. and guess what? That means that you’re going for a walk on the beach too!

 

pramway – woo hoo! it looks great! May 7, 2009

Filed under: baby stuff,pregnancy,work — rakster @ 11:18 am
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Hello little speck!

Ohaiyoo.  Genki?  Yoku netta? Yosh.

I am in a good mood this morning.   You are rolling around and reflux isn’t too bad.  Its a glorious day, and even though I have to work, your Dad and I are going to go camping this weekend so I have something fun to look forward to. And, your dad completed the construction phase of the pramway yesterday – woo hoo!

It looks fantastic, much bigger than I guess I’d thought about originally, but very solid.  Its not going to collapse if 15 people jump on it at once.   All that is left to do is oil/coat the wood a few times, and put some of the big potplants back in place.   Your dad has done an absolutely stellar job, with a little bit of advice & instruction from G, but all the construction himself.   And, he built me a cool little step for the kitchen with the offcuts so I cna reach the bench a bit better (yes, I’m a shortass).   He is now ready to tackle the world.

So, photos:

starting on the decking layer

starting on the decking layer

then the finishing touches…

then the completed structure

and finally, me practising wheeling the pram up the gangway.

practising with the pram

practising with the pram

You may have noticed that there is a bit of a slope. I can assure you that the pram rolls downwards pretty quickly. And I bet that you will have a trike or something at some stage which you’ll roll down and smash straight into the front door with when you can’t stop. The joys of being a kid. Look forward to it.

Hope you’re well. Love you.
mum

 

feeling a little stressed and emotional May 5, 2009

Filed under: emotion,exhaustion,family,pregnancy — rakster @ 9:41 am
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Hello Little Speck,

Its very comforting to feel you moving around down there happily this morning.  I think your dad appreciated it too – he woke up and could feel you against his back.   And your hiccups were so strong he got to feel those too.  We were both happy to feel you being normal.   And I’m glad to say that your awake hours are actually currently in-line with mine – you wake up at about 6:30am, then play around for an hour or more; then you sleep, though sometimes you have a little play until about 9am or so.   You sometimes wake during the middle of the day, but definitely around 3pm is a big time for you to reawaken and do some fairly vigorous exercise.   Then around 6pm you seem to go a bit crazy – I suspect its when I haven’t had dinner yet and you’re trying to tell me your blood sugar has dropped too low.   Then its all downhill for me as I am generally exhausted and very ready for bed.   You often are still awake and there is some movement but you chill out when I go to bed and seem to sleep through the night.  You were waking me up before when this wasn’t happening.  So thanks.  My sleep has been better.

I think I overdid it on the weekend and yesterday – I had a bit of a meltdown last night and something like a panic attack after I went to bed.   I just couldn’t seem to get enough breath and was sobbing uncontrollably.  I couldn’t think straight and couldn’t work out what was wrong or why I was upset or what was going on or whether I could really breathe or not.  It wasn’t very fun and I freaked both myself and your dad out.  Eventually I got over it and managed to settle back down and go to sleep.  I am putting it down to Week 32 pregnancy hormones.   Our midwife in the antenatal classes was suggesting we all have a good cry in the shower.   And there are a bunch of women on the baby forum this week who all seem to be crying a lot.    So I’m guessing its a common thing and I’m just following the normal pregnant and crazy pattern.

Anyway, this is why we were both happy to feel you scrimmaging around like normal this morning.

Thinking of you.

love mum

 

cooking in readiness May 3, 2009

Filed under: pregnancy — rakster @ 11:27 am
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Hello Speck!

Its Sunday and I haven’t quite slept enough.  You kept me awake and the strange vivid dreams have come back.   Frogs and strange men.   Very disconcerting.   Grump grump grump.

Yesterday was tiring but fulfulling in some way.  I’ve been thinking about what to do to get ready for you to come.   I got up and went to the markets and shopping early, then after a break for a friend to visit started cooking for the rest of the day.  Goal – get lots of home-cooked and ready to reheat meals into the freezer so that when you arrive we have something relatively nutricious, healthy and mostly delicious to eat.

Yesterday I think I put my goal posts a little high ’cause I didn’t quite get all done I had intended, but on reflection I did get a lot done:

  • 6 big rolls of pesto done and in the freezer, with enough for dinner last night … Yummy pesto with three huge bunches of basil, lots and lots of pine nuts, lots of romano, a little oil, heaps of garlic, some lemon juice and then some fresh roasted cashews to give it more oomph.   Delicious if I do say so myself.
  • pumpkin, eggplant and spinach & onion all roasted/cooked and ready for lasagne-making today or tomorrow.
  • 7 containers of fresh ricotta and spinach ravioli, laid in a home-made tomato sauce.  (i.e. golden-crisp fried garlic pieces in olive oil;  then lotsa tomatoes, blanched, skinned and then cooked down with the garlic for hours yesterday – sweet, fresh and tasty)
cooking in readiness - the canelloni construction

cooking in readiness – the canelloni construction

I bought 3 kg of ricotta (mm, stockpiling) and plan on putting together the lasagne either today (though its a little busy as we’re out from 10:30 until 6pm and I’ve already been out to the airport and back so my energy levels may not hold out until then) or tomorrow.    Lasagne will take a bit longer as it needs to pre-bake.   Thinking some kind of baked ricotta cake for eating this week too.   Or maybe I can make two and freeze one.   Have to consult the pie bible.

Anyway, must fly, off to active birthing classes with your dad.

love you.

mum

Mmm.

 

Hiccups. Again. Its one of the strangest feelings I’ve ever felt. And Antenatal Classes Mark #5. May 1, 2009

Filed under: baby stuff,baby's feelings,birthing,development stages,healthcare,pregnancy — rakster @ 6:20 pm
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Hello Little Spectacle,

How are things going with you?  All well with me.   You’re awake and down there hiccupping again.  It must be that time of day. Its one of the strangest things I’ve ever felt.  Apparently it could be you practicing breathing by exercising your diaphragm.   You started it last week.  And have continued almost daily since then.  There is a sort of popping kinda feeling down in my uterus.  It almost feels as though there is a membrane in there somewhere going in and out.  A bit like the silver top from an old-fashioned bottle of milk coming off.  Repeatedly.  Inside me.   So, yeah, a bit weird and freaky.   But also, now that I’m used to it, comforting in some strange way.

Antenatal classes continued last night.  Your dad wasn’t keen to go, pramway construction having reached an impasse for the day – a few little niggly mistakes in the pramway causing a bit of back-tracking had put him in a particularly foul mood.   However your craving for potato-gems for dinner (all you, not me at all) I think helped lift his spirits, as did the fact that his planned dentist visit wasn’t as bad as he thought it was going to be.   Thus, belly-full of fried, baked and rolled-in-sour-cream oily potato goodness (with some coleslaw thrown in for good measure), we trundled off to the hospital to meet with our friends the midwife and other pregnoid couples.   Its a bit strange but I’m going to miss it a bit when it finishes, six weeks of jokes and disbelief and panic with other couples really does bring you together slightly.   Its been really odd observing them too, and seeing how they interact as couples, what they are looking forward to, scared of, all those things.  There are a mix of people of different ages and backgrounds, but all are excited and keen and its lovely to see that too.

Last night was Caesarean Sections and Breastfeeding.  Relatively depressing really.  It was all very serious.   Your dad went green watching the Caesarean Section video, while I coped apart from the part when they showed the epidural going in.  The cutting through the stomach tissue & then the breaking of the uterine sack was actually pretty cool.   The uterine sack thing was really white and of course all the waters started just squirting out everywhere when they put the scalpel through it slightly.   Watching a white and purple head emerge from a big cut was a bit surreal.  That really freaked your dad out while I thought that bit was kinda cool.   The little baby they pulled out was very purple but quickly started to breathe and got some colour.   And cried.  It wasn’t very happy!

I don’t really want a caesarean, I guess no-one really does want any surgery if they don’t have to have it.  I think I’d find it really weird being awake through it – and it takes so long and there are so many people in the room.   I think to some extent I’d rather be able to see it than just see a big blue sheet with lots of doctors and nurses and midwives moving around behind it.  Another thing that you really don’t know how you’d cope with until it happens.

Breastfeeding is a bit the same.  Yep, they are pretty pro-breastfeeding at the hospital, which is good, but really, how much can you learn in an antenatal class???  I found it a bit ho-hum, as I’ve read a bit about it before and generally think its one of those things that is going to be hard to take in until you try it yourself.   Chatting with your dad on the way home though, he said he found it really informative and useful.  So we got something out of it.  Oh, I guess the bit I got was that if you do use bottles / express or whatever, there is no need for any sterilisation palava as long as you wash it.   Your milk, your baby, your bottles and knick-knacks, no sterilisation required.  Awesome.  That helps.

Today I took a lunch break and went down to West End and had a massage.  My back has been pretty sore and sitting at my desk all day tap-tap-tapping doesn’t help.   It was lovely.   I lay there for 15 minutes afterwards and relaxed, then gave you a massage of your own, as you’d woken up.   You seemed to enjoy your massage too and went back to sleep.   Its my way of getting you used to my touch before you come out.

Pramway - Our front yard before commencement of construction

Pramway – Our front yard before commencement of construction

Your dad is still out the front pramway-building.  I’m going to finish off in here and then head off to yoga.

Pramway is underway. Nearly ready for the decking!

Pramway is underway. Nearly ready for the decking!

love you.

mum

under construction - getting those joists in was a lot of work. Hopefully it will hold the weight of people walking up and down it for years.

under construction – getting those joists in was a lot of work. Hopefully it will hold the weight of people walking up and down it for years.

 

Not much new to report. I think you’re getting bigger, you’re kicking around a bit. And the "Pramway" is underway. April 30, 2009

Filed under: exercise,pregnancy — rakster @ 9:30 am
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Good morning Speckle,

It’s cold! I actually got under the duvet last night for the whole night. First time this year – I’ve been so hot that usually I let your dad have it all (a treat which he is enjoying as I am traditionally a duvet stealer but since I’ve been pregnant I’ve been hot and haven’t wanted it). Bbbbrr. Going to the bathroom five times in the freezing cold is tough. So I stayed in bed until 7:30. Lie-in. Mmm.

I’ve been a busy fat waddler this week. Running about to my yoga and exercise classes. I’m getting quite proficient at rolling my hips around on a fit ball. You generally just seem to sleep through it all, so who knows if you even realise that I’m exercising. I ordered a new fitball for us at home but it hasn’t arrived yet. My favourite exercise is squats against the wall with the fitball – the rolling motion of the ball on my back feels a bit like a massage and helps relieve the pressure that has built-up. I’m not convinced by the “Yogababy” pregnancy classes yet though. Too many people in the class and just a bit of a mish mash of movements like rolling your hips, with maybe warrior pose thrown in for good measure. I think the normal yoga classes with some modified poses are better.

You are very much awake this morning and rolling around down there. You aren’t too bad though – earlier this week I think you managed to get your foot wedged in the space between two of my ribs and just jammed it back and forth for at least 20 minutes. I apologise slightly, but after attempting to get you to move gently I resorted to some relatively strong pushes to get you to move (read – you jab me and I jabbed you back when it got intolerable). At the moment you seem to be active first thing in the morning, and then usually again around 3pm and then again around 6pm. Either I’m sleeping better as I’m going through another really tired phase, or you’re also sleeping through most of the night too. Hope you keep that up! I’m sure you won’t.

Your dad started building the new decking path from the front gate to the front verandah yesterday. He dug a big hole in the middle of the front garden for some support posts, moved the massive piece of rock under the deck that acts as a step, and sledgehammered the step from the footpath right away. The wood and stuff arrived on a big truck (which incidentally took out a large branch on the black bean tree – very unfortunate as it was a branch that gave the front of the house a lot of shade in summer), and he has done some priming on the joists (or whatever they are called) so that today it should all be ready to start laying the structure from the path. The plan is a ramp that goes right from the footpath down to the level of our front deck, so we can just roll you on in your pram. Also, it will be easier for people to walk – less tree roots, and general compost material to trudge through. I think the decking we bought matches the front deck, so hopefully it will look ok. We’re not planning on putting any handrails on it though – so I’m sure as you get bigger you’ll stack it off the side many times – to a 30cm max drop. We’re planning on mulching up around the sides and putting some more garden bed in, so it should at least be a soft landing.

Hope you’re well.
love mum