my-speck

i'm pregnant and it's going to be a rollercoaster

another week has flown by… and bad parent of the week award to me! September 30, 2010

Filed under: activities for kids,baby stuff,bad parent of the day award,development stages,exercise,Parenting,playing,Raising a Child — rakster @ 7:55 pm
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Hello!

bad parent of the week: mum

I award myself bad parent award of the week this week.  For not realising you were sick and nonchalantly taking you to the doctor for a check as you were extra tired and a bit cranky on Monday, only to be told that you apparently have ear infections in both ears. Which reminded me what a tolerant and happy little thing you really are, as all I had noticed was the extra fatigue and a bit of extra whingeyness when you wanted something I wouldn’t let you have (which was enough to make me want to go to the doctor to check, but I was a bit surprised, I was expecting the usual, ‘he’s fine’).. The new doctor who we’ve never met before kind of gave me a kinda funny look as he told me you had an ear infection and that you needed antibiotics, and that “you need to keep up the pain medication, that is probably why he’s upset” as I’d just 3 minutes earlier cheerily informed you “no blocks until we’ve finished with the doctor… and gee you’re a bit cantankerous today!” as you pounded on the doctor’s door in an attempt to exit the consulting room and return to the blocks you were previously happily playing with in the reception…  So yes, the new doctor thinks I’m a bad parent who doesn’t pay attention to her child’s needs and treats his health as a bit of a humourous aside.  Well, maybe that is a slight exaggeration, but that look he gave me certainly indicated he wasn’t convinced I was the best parent either.  Suffice to say it was the end of the day, you were ratty, and I was a bit more scattered than usual myself.  So maybe appeared to someone who doesn’t know me a bit nonchalant.  When really I was just a bit tired and distracted….

health – an ongoing issue

Anyway, all good.  You’re on antibiotics and you’re already getting better.  Today you played independently heaps during the day, and it reminded me how good and easy to look after you are when you are 100% healthy…. Which reminds me, it seems such a common thing that all babies are sick for ages after starting childcare.  My mother’s group doesn’t meet up much anymore as almost everyone has gone back to work, but we still email a lot, and this week one of the topics that has come up has been the relative frequency of sickness in everyone’s kids since starting childcare.  So it’s not just you.  Which makes me feel slightly better.   Starting childcare is a sickness-inducing thing in most kids.  Which I knew, but it’s still helpful to have people at the same point as us going through the same thing and talking about it.

today: climbing

So.  No swimming lesson today (thought that I’d win bad parent of the YEAR award for taking my ear-infected child to a swimming lesson).  Instead: naked playing in the sandpit while I weeded the garden.  A visit from little E (who you gave a dink to on your little trike – the cutest thing ever), a bike ride with mum and a stop in the park on the way home…

baby climbing

climbing at the park

..

All good fun.

Love and kisses

mum

P.S. Another photo from last week: exploring at the State Library.  I just let you wander about wherever, and this is where you ended up.

exploring

 

childcare, childcare. we’re getting used to it. September 18, 2010

Filed under: baby stuff,Parenting,Raising a Child — rakster @ 12:08 pm
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Hello Poogie,

thought I’d write a little bit about childcare today. You started there just under 3 months ago now, and since I wrote about it with a little negativity when your first started quite a few people have written to me or asked about how it is going.

And generally, the answer is pretty good. This week in particular you seem to be getting into the groove of it. But it has been up and down. However I struggle to put my finger on exactly what it is that has made it so up and down and generally uncomfortable for me, and have had many discussions with many people about it.

Childcare is a difficult thing. To do or not to do, in the first instance. We decided when you got the spot in the favoured daycare at about six months of age, that you were tooooooo small. And I am happy with that decision. You were too small. And luckily for us, your lovely Aunt R1 was available to help look after you, so (more…)

 

Too much to even try to catch-up. July 18, 2010

Filed under: activities for kids,baby stuff,Communication,development stages,family,Parenting,Raising a Child,Sign Language — rakster @ 3:49 pm
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Hello Poogie,

once again, weeks have gone by and I haven’t had the time to write. This happens once in a while – a few days go by, then I think, “Aha, I should write about …….”. Then a few more days go by, I forget what it was then I start to get overwhelmed with how much I have to write. So I don’t… and then the cycle continues.

In this case I’ve also been rather extremely busy: we’ve been getting used to Childcare (you and I), I’ve been working and my work project went somewhat sideways so required some brainpower and attention, uni is getting busy – just wrote my first exam on Saturday and we’ve started work on the assignment…. And you just are SO much fun to hang out with, that when you’re awake and I’m not working I just want to play with you. So housework and writing blogs has been slightly sidelined in preference to actual living.

(Oh, and I’ve developed a slight addiction to (more…)

 

Today was your first day at childcare. And I cried again. :) June 30, 2010

Filed under: Parenting,Raising a Child — rakster @ 8:01 pm
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Dear Poogie,

Today was your first day of childcare. I was nervous, nervous, nervous Nellie. For no specific big reason. But for many small reasons. Happy and sad at the same time. I thought I was good with it all (mostly) until I left the centre. And realised that this is the first time I’ve ever left you in the care of total strangers. Yes, I’ve left you lots of times before. But never with someone who isn’t family, or good friends, who I trust and know well enough to be able to understand how they’ll look after you.

And I cried. Yes, I cried. Thankfully work was a bit busy this morning so I had something to take my mind off it. And your Aunt3 (G) came with me when I dropped you off, so I had someone to give a big hug to as I cried. Real tears, for a few minutes.

Yes, yes, I did all the right things before hand. (more…)

 

To childcare or not to childcare. December 10, 2009

Filed under: Parenting — rakster @ 3:59 pm
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Hello Little Screaming Monster,

so. I started this post more than two weeks ago. But haven’t got back to it. For a number of reasons.

  1. I’m busy. It’s nearly Christmas, and things to do with Christmas and all that jazz just seem to get in the way of things.
  2. I thought I’d unpack a few of the mountain of boxes in our store room from one of our previous moves (they were all numbered and logged but after 3 moves the pile has just got bigger, numbers overlap, and frankly I don’t care about what is in them so much as I haven’t used it in years or months). It’s like a game of ‘garage sale shopping’ but in your own storeroom.  Did I already mention I was busy? Well.  I guess I got more busy.  (As an aside, 5 boxes down and I’m over it again for a while).  I think I’ll aim for 5 a month for the next year.  That should get through the pile in say 3 years.
  3. It’s hot and I’m busy.
  4. You seem to be awake more and sleep less and more games and fun stuff is required of me.   Well, “fun” in the mum does “fun” stuff with baby kinda way.  Which is a little different to my pre-child definition of “fun” stuff.  But fun it is.
  5. I am fully mobile again, oh yeah!  No boot, just trainers and the car keys and you!  So we have been trekking back and forth across the burbs of Brisbane to mum’s groups and the grocery store and the pool and .. and .. and.
  6. Did I mention I was busy?

But the main reason I haven’t got back to this post after starting it so many days ago is that it’s a hard one.

The issue:

I got a call from the childcare center near here, where your cousins and our close friend’s kids go, telling me that “there is a spot” for you from January next year.  Two days a week only.   But “A Spot”.  Now I guess you need a little context here.   Brisvegas and Australia in general are having a baby boom.  I live in the inner city, and childcare spots are a bit like hen’s teeth – rare.  The center that offered you a spot is notoriously hard to get a spot in, and is apparently the bees nees.   It’s friendly, great staff, local, vegan-friendly, breastfeeding friendly, and small (only six spots in the under 12 months room).   And two days a week is precisely what I think you’ll be after at some point….

But when is that point?

I was at first excited when they rang.  Then immediately I hung up the phone, I looked at you and almost cried.  You’re my little baby.  You’re still so small.  You’ll only just be six months old.  That is so little.  You’ve never really been sick.  You’ll be sick for weeks on end when you start childcare – good as it is, kids just love touching other kids faces etc and germs spread.  And you’re so small, my little baby.  Did I mention that already?

Aaagh.  Then there is the issue of what I’d do if you did have a childcare spot.  And that is the one that has really been occupying my mind for the past few weeks.  I’ve been contemplating what it is like to be a SAHM (stay at home mum) and whether I want to continue (and whether we can afford) being one.  It’s such a hard call.   If we can afford it or not is a simple question.  And the simple answer for that is that only two weeks before they phoned, I pretty much decided that we could afford it for a bit longer, so as there was no childcare spot, I should just relax, enjoy the experience and then start to think about work and the whole “what do I want to do with my life” question in another few months.  In the interim, I decided to take another course from my MBA next semester and see how that went as a starting point to ease back into things non-baby related…

And my sanity.  Can I be a full-time SAHM and keep my sanity?  Your grandmother described it very well when she said it was “mind-numbingly boring” at the same time as being “intensely satisfying and rewarding” especially as the bond you have with your child is so close, so special and so important.  A dichotomy.  I caught up yesterday with an old friend from uni who has two kids, both under 5, who first thing, asked me, “How are you coping with the SAHM thing?  are you BORED?”.  And then went on to clarify that she has been fighting with herself mentally for the past five years trying to come to peace with whether or not she is satisfied, happy, ok with it, balancing work (does she do enough at one day a week, look at the other positions she could be applying for if she worked more)  and family and what to do.  And she’s at peace, pregnant again with number three, so does find it a worthwhile and happy experience, but also very mentally challenging.  We were chatting about mother’s groups and she said, “But yes, once you’ve talked about poos and wees and developmental stages, it would be nice if once in a while someone maybe mentioned politics or what is going on in the world”.   (Aside: we then had an interesting conversation about how the conservatives in Australia have just ousted their leader and gone for a right-wing approach to tackling our government head-on with experienced members (ahem, cronies) from a yesteryear re-promoted to front-bench positions.  And whether or not such a strategy would prove fruitful).  … Mmm..

That was just one conversation.  There have been many more.  And lots of thoughts about it all.

So.

Decision

For now, you’re not taking “the spot”. You’re gonna stay home with me.   And your dad will try to finish a bit early one day a week so you can have some time with him and I have some time to myself and to study.  And your Grandma K will look after you a few hours one afternoon a week too.

And in the meantime, we’ll continue to be busy busy busy and I’ll contemplate my purpose in life in between changing pooey nappies, swimming at the pool and doing loads of laundry.

love and kisses

mum

P.S.  constructive feedback and notes on your own experiences from readers out there most welcome by comment…  We’d love to hear.

baby at the pool

poogie – you and me in the pool today

P.P.S.  We went to the pool again this morning.  You love it.  You were tired when we got there but managed to swim quite happily for 45 minutes, got splashed by the hoardes of big kids and didn’t seem to mind at all, and attracted the attention of a very friendly boy about 12 years old who was just overjoyed that you enjoyed the water so much and spent about 15 minutes playing with you and a ball and then encouraged his friends to do the same with the other babies.  Funny!