my-speck

i'm pregnant and it's going to be a rollercoaster

Beach holiday June 7, 2009

Hello Speck!

Here we are – we are all in a big house right on the beach at Byron.  Lovely with a view straight through from the living area and kitchen across the garden to the ocean.   The sea is a bit choppy and dirty due to all the recent rain and storms, so its not great for swimming, but the beach is good for walking… Its been a full moon, so every night you can see a trail into the distance across the waves and the ocean, leading out to a large fat full moon.  From your dad and I’s bedroom you can see straight out, so we’ve been sleeping with the curtains open and waking to the rising sun.  Lovely.

Galaktoboureko

Otherwise – its a full house and we are all having lots of fun.  Mostly cooking and eating.  Tonight we’ve got two desserts – I’ve made my greek galaktaboureko for the first time, and your Aunt St has made a gluten and dairy free lemon meringue pie…  Then for entree K has made chick pea pancake / fritters with an olive tapenade, olive boccocini and fresh lovely local roma cherry tomatoes.  There is stuffed capsicum and tomatoes coming for main, with meat for those who have that, and then stuffed squid too.   I think everyone was in the kitchen cutting, stuffing and cooking at the same time at one point,  enjoying the laughter and the good smells.  Notice I’ve started with the dessert.   Funny that is still my focus.  I’ve definitely had cravings or more like lustings for sweet food during my pregnancy with you.

Wanted to write and let you know we are still thinking of you.   L has been singing you songs as we went to the market and shopping today – he and his sister are quite excited that you’re coming to join us soon.   They are coming for a sleepover this friday night so they get one in before you arrive.  We’ve promised to cook smoothies for breakfast.  Anyway, L has been asking all about you – if you can hear yet, how big you are etc.  We’ve told him you can hear us, a bit like what you can hear when you’re underwater.   So, you’ve been getting renditions of songs learned at kindi and prep that he wants to share with you.

lemon meringue pie

And you are obviously gettting well fed.

Hope you’re well. Off to the beach for a walk.

love mum

 

excited. you are now officially full term and can come on down anytime. Week 37 hoorah. June 4, 2009

Hello little one,

how are you tonight?  I’m exhausted.  I gave up on working for a bit today and took some time out to go grocery shopping with your dad.  We now have hospital snacks for the birth bag.  And some food for this weekend!

YAY – we are going to the beach again.  S arrives tonight from Sydney – you and I are going to the airport to get her – and then after our visit to the obstetrician tomorrow we will head off down the coast.   The others will come a bit later in the day after work.   AHHH.  4 days of nothing.  and friends in a house on the beach.  and food.   I’m going to cook Galaktoboureko.   Yummo.

And we are going to swim.  It might be a bit cold.  But whatever.   I’m hotter than normal still..

So.  You’re obviously moving downwards as those sharp twinges that the pregnancy books warned me about are happening in much more earnest than before.  I believe its your head banging against my cervix.  A bit like shooting pains up from my groin.   But I’m thinking its a good pain as it means you’re moving closer to engaging.  So its all good.  Keep it up.  And you’re still totally crazily active at the moment.  Its like vesuvius down there in the lump that is my stomach.   So you’re doing something.  I have heard that generally babies go quiet for a day or two before coming out, so I reassured S today on the phone that you weren’t going to arrive early while we were at the coast.  She was a bit worried you might just pop on out.  And that everyone at the house would then want to accompany me to the hospital.  I said that they’d all just stay in Byron & then come and visit after you arrived, and that she would be lucky as she’d be one of the first to meet you.   Which got her excited.  But then she exclaimed, “But we couldn’t have the Bombe Alaska.  I mean, we could bring it to the hospital but I don’t think they’d let us light it!”

Mmm..Bombe Alaska.  See, you can look forward to a life with us of eating well.   I am looking forward to S’s Bombe Alaska and the beach…

yum yum

love mum

 

cooking in readiness May 3, 2009

Hello Speck!

Its Sunday and I haven’t quite slept enough.  You kept me awake and the strange vivid dreams have come back.   Frogs and strange men.   Very disconcerting.   Grump grump grump.

Yesterday was tiring but fulfulling in some way.  I’ve been thinking about what to do to get ready for you to come.   I got up and went to the markets and shopping early, then after a break for a friend to visit started cooking for the rest of the day.  Goal – get lots of home-cooked and ready to reheat meals into the freezer so that when you arrive we have something relatively nutricious, healthy and mostly delicious to eat.

Yesterday I think I put my goal posts a little high ’cause I didn’t quite get all done I had intended, but on reflection I did get a lot done:

  • 6 big rolls of pesto done and in the freezer, with enough for dinner last night … Yummy pesto with three huge bunches of basil, lots and lots of pine nuts, lots of romano, a little oil, heaps of garlic, some lemon juice and then some fresh roasted cashews to give it more oomph.   Delicious if I do say so myself.
  • pumpkin, eggplant and spinach & onion all roasted/cooked and ready for lasagne-making today or tomorrow.
  • 7 containers of fresh ricotta and spinach ravioli, laid in a home-made tomato sauce.  (i.e. golden-crisp fried garlic pieces in olive oil;  then lotsa tomatoes, blanched, skinned and then cooked down with the garlic for hours yesterday – sweet, fresh and tasty)
cooking in readiness - the canelloni construction

cooking in readiness – the canelloni construction

I bought 3 kg of ricotta (mm, stockpiling) and plan on putting together the lasagne either today (though its a little busy as we’re out from 10:30 until 6pm and I’ve already been out to the airport and back so my energy levels may not hold out until then) or tomorrow.    Lasagne will take a bit longer as it needs to pre-bake.   Thinking some kind of baked ricotta cake for eating this week too.   Or maybe I can make two and freeze one.   Have to consult the pie bible.

Anyway, must fly, off to active birthing classes with your dad.

love you.

mum

Mmm.

 

Antenatal classes Mark 2#. And these iron tablets do really make me farty. April 10, 2009

Hi Speck,

Its Easter friday!  Yay for holidays.  I’m baking almond and chocolate friands to take to your Grandma K’s for an easter get together.  Your dad is doing his usual interfering and telling me my oven is too hot (despite the fact I’ve never seen him cook any cake except cheesecake in his life).  He’s just a know-all.

almond chocolate friands

almond chocolate friands

So.  Last night was antenatal classes Mark 2.  This time with a midwife instead of with a physio.  Actually learnt a lot.  Which was good – the time went quickly rather than slowly.  The class was about introducing us to the three stages of labour, and talking about when we should think about phoning the birthing ward to come to hospital.  We had a tour of a birthing suite and watched a few videos of babies being born.  Lots of things to think about. I cried watching the videos.  I’m still really emotional and I got a bit scared and excited and happy all at the same time.  Luckily I was at the back of the room so it was only your dad, the couple beside me and the midwife who noticed tears streaming down my cheeks.  Its strange to not have any real idea what is going to happen to you and how you will cope, and not have much control over it all.  It could all go smoothly and then we get to choose some things, or it could all go a bit not as expected in which case we relinquish control to a bunch of health-care professionals.  I could just lose it and go crazy in the middle of it all.  Who knows.  Maybe I’ll get to transition stage and just be adamant that I’m going to pack up and go home and pretend there is no baby business happening at all.

Anyway, I’m glad I took a notebook, as everyone had lots of questions and the class was good in that it was relatively unstructured and the midwife was thorough in her answers.  I wrote down a bunch of things I wanted to find out more about; things to ask and talk to our obstetrician about (gee, who knew that some of them still want you to get up onto the bed and be prone when you’re actually pushing the baby out in the second stage – I thought things had moved on – maybe not – gee I hope ours lets us do it however feels best for me); things for your dad and I to decide (do you need a vitamin K injection and Hep B as soon as you’re born?); and just general stuff that I thought I’d forget.   We walked to the hospital again but it was raining on the way home so we taxied.  May have to rethink the walking to the hospital idea just ’cause your dad will be in charge of bringing all the stuff along.  But maybe we can still do it just with our birthing bag, and someone can bring the rest later?  Mmm..   Anyway, I think the most important things to remember from the class was the phone number of the birth suite and basically if you get any body fluids happening then phone them.  Got it.  Phone them.  Your dad put the number in his phone.  Hopefully he can find his phone when the time comes.  I might just write the number on the whiteboard too.

When we got home we had a chat about some of the things they talked about at the hospital.  I think both of us think that since we’re so close (literally 10 minutes walk) that we don’t have to worry about traffic or anything, so we should be ok to stay at home if everything is going well for quite a while.   Yes, the hospital is brand new and the rooms are big and spacious, and pretty nice, but its still a hospital with linoleum floors and unnatural lighting and lots of equipment and not much to look at.   I think if we are in first stage of labour for a long time it would be much nicer to be at home if we’re comfortable with that.  We can have whoever we like there, we have our own creature comforts, and there is more to do and look at.   But, who knows.  We may panic in the throws of pain and think its all happening much faster than it is, or be uncomfortable at home, and then just trip on in really early.

Yep, so of course I dreamed about you arriving again last night.  This time it was more focussed on your birth.  I was on all fours on the ground a lot, near a hand-wash basin for some reason, during a lot of the labour.  It was kinda painful but rhythmic.  I remember thinking oh, there it goes again and feeling it just going of its own accord.  Then I was squatting on the side of a chair and you came out, all slimey and red and with a lot of white vernix all over you.  You had blackish hair plastered to your head, but not too much, just some.    Your head was squished and a bit oblong.  And this time you were a boy and I definitely sighted your genitalia.   For some reason when you were born I actually forgot to see if you were a boy or a girl and I remember asking people a few minutes later and they were all surprised I hadn’t worked out or checked that you were a boy already.  I remember just being glad that you were out and you were healthy.

This dream went on and on and on.  I woke up and one point and I’m pretty sure I told your dad about it then went back to sleep and continued on with the same dream.  Until you woke me at 6:30 with some strong stomach pounding.

Going to get non-burnt friands from oven and go for morning tea.

Love you

mum

P.s. Oh yeah, side effect of these iron tablets seem to be even worse gas than I had previously.  I read a bit on the web and there are a bunch of women on forums who say this has happened to them too.  And some of them say the smell is really bad.  I haven’t noticed that yet thankfully, but it means I have to be very careful.  I was like a ticking time bomb during the antenatal classes.  I didn’t make it out of the room a few times and let loose big loud ones.  The tour of the hospital and where to park was a good diversion as we were outside and I could lag behind the group.  But sitting still and watching videos as I felt like I might float out of my chair was trying.  Your dad was peeing himself with laughter and kept telling me to go to the toilet (again, helpful if you know you need to fart but they come on very quickly and are very large and frequent.  So I would be like a yo-you back and forth.  My policy is hold them in and then do it all at once in the toilet).

 

cooking again. Carrot cake today. April 6, 2009

Hello Speck!

I’ve braved the disorder of our house to cook again this afternoon.  Carrot cake.  Its in the oven now. So the house is hot.  I think its about 28 degrees, which isn’t too bad, but its been raining for the past four days, and just started again, so its that lovely Brisbane humid heat.  The skin pressed between my boobs and you in my stomach is exceedingly hot.  Such is life.

carrot cake before we ate it

carrot cake before we ate it

carrot cake after we ate it...

carrot cake after we ate it…

Your dad and I went for a big walk this morning.  It was a nice break and ’cause I stopped lots to stretch out my back, wasn’t too hard on it.  I slept badly again last night.  Right on time as soon as I enter the third trimester my sleep has deteriorated again and the good hormones seem to be taking a break.  Damn damn damn.  But typical.   Yoga on Friday night helped with the back, but the pain just comes back, no matter how much I stretch.  We walked around a lot yesterday too – markets, Mick’s Nuts and general back and forth.   And exercise does help, but I think from now on in its just discomfort from what the books and people tell me.  Not that it seems to bother you at all 🙂

you and me at week 28

you and me at week 28

We also had a Speck-watching event on the back deck yesterday with your Grandad and Uncle Jake & your Dad, Aunt 3 & T.  You move around so heartily that its pretty easy to work out where you are and what you are doing.  Lots of pushing up with your feet near my stomach while everyone was watching.   You were doing the ‘tent pose’ for a while, so we grabbed your foot on either side with our fingers on the ouside of my belly.  Your foot is pretty big.

As you can possibly tell from my almost incoherent ramblings, my brain is reverting to mush again. Oh well. Best to just eat cake.

love you
mum

 

… and I continue to eat. This time to console myself. And you. January 18, 2009

Heya Speck,

Feeling a bit shit today.  Ooops, bad mum.  Your dad keeps harping on at me about how I’m not going to be able to swear with a baby / child.  I guess I should make an effort.  Anyway.  I feel a bit crappy today.  The whole, “I sprained my ankle” thing has turned into “I may need surgery on my ankle to be able to use it properly again” after a visit to the physio.  Damn damn damn. And I am annoyed that the first physio I went to the other day immediately after straining the ankle was so crap.   She had no idea, and just taped it up.   I knew she was crap, that’s why I booked back in for my normal physio on Saturday.  I figured at the time that really too much treatment close to a sprain is not really helpful anyway, so I’d just rest and then get better treatment on Saturday.  But unfortunately yesterday he basically said there wasn’t much he could do and I need to go and see an orthopaedic surgeon for an opinion.  And no walking, cycling, yoga, swimming blah blah blah in the meantime.  Yeah, I know I should keep positive until I get that opinion.  Which is what I did yesterday.  I just can’t do it today.

Coupled with the fact that all the pairs of shorts I tried on this morning didn’t fit, and it wasn’t so much the belly only being the problem as the ass and legs as well, I got a bit, “I’m going to turn into a big fat pregnant blimp and I can’t even go for a walk!  I feel horrible!”.  Kinda whiney.  It didn’t help that I spent the whole morning lying down re-reading a book (a good one – The Namesake by Jhumpa Lahiri): reading for too long puts me in a bit of a funk too.  And then when I’m done reading not being able to really walk around all that much to enjoy the gorgeous day just pees me off even more.  I’m putting it down to you as well.  Have been feeling really good but I guess with exaggerated highs come exaggerated lows.  And for the first time I’ve let worry really panic me a bit.  I haven’t felt you moving for a day or two and I’m worried about you.  Its silly, because no matter what there is nothing that can be done, but it would be nice if you could just give me a few good strong kicks.  Try the kidneys.  Yes, slightly masochistic too.   Today is a bit low.

So again, it is with food that I console myself or attempt to focus on positives and fun things.  A friend was asking me the other day if I have been craving anything, or if I have really noticed wanting milk ’cause apparently babies growing in bellies need a lot of calcium.  Apparently, you will suck it out of my bones if you don’t get enough in my diet (You really are a fully-blown parasite, huh?   Trying to kill me with osteoporosis before you’re even born).   Funnily, I didn’t think I had been craving dairy – I do eat yoghurt for breakfast with fruit most days, and lotsa cheese.  But then when talking to her I realised that I have been having a few hot chocolates at work throughout the week, and have even had a few milkshakes too, just ’cause I felt like it.  I usually really don’t like milk.   Once a year I might get a craving for a milkshake.  Usually strawberry.  Your dad groans and tells me that I don’t need one.  I insist for the next hour.  He gives in.   We sit down and I get through about half.   Then I give it to your dad to finish as I feel so full I couldn’t possibly drink another sip, even though it tastes good and refreshing.   Then I start to feel ill.   I keep the ill feeling to myself for about half-an-hour until it gets kinda bad, then I usually let out a big, “I feel sick, I need to lie down” groan.  Your dad says, “I told you so, you shouldn’t have had that milkshake”.  I think, “But I enjoyed drinking it”, but keep that to myself to elicit maximum sympathy.  There is none forthcoming from your dad.  He’s not good on sympathy when you’ve ignored his advice (heed the warning).

Anyway, I have noticed dairy related desires.  I won’t put them down as cravings, more as desires.  So yesterday for some reason I really felt like eating that greek-style rice custard that you can buy at the markets in West End and a few other random places.   So after dragging myself around the house feeling sorry for myself, I’ve managed to cheer myself a little but cooking it.  Pretty good first effort too (if I do say so myself).  I’d tweak it next time to make it milkier and less rich, but it tastes good.  Ryzogalo is apparently the name.  Have eaten a large bowlful and now feeling slightly less morose.

ryzogalo - yum.

your dad eating ryzogalo

your dad eating ryzogalo

Hope you’re well.  Kick me would you. please.

mum

 

eating frenzy January 13, 2009

Dear Speck,

Yesterday was a day of eating. I arrived at work and ate my large bowl of yoghurt and fresh mango. Soon after, deciding I was still hungry, I moved onto grapes. The large bunch I’d bought into work (intending that it lasted until Thursday) lasted until just before lunch. I took lunch early, cause I was feeling a little peckish. Lunch was a large bowl of chilli beans, which your dad had cooked the day before. It was pretty filling, but only made it until about 2pm when I needed more. 2 nectarines downed for afternoon tea / snack.

Went home and despite the fact it was 4:45 decided a snack of jam-drops (yes, I got around to cooking them on Sunday) was definitely in order. Ate those. I started with one but then decided as I went that 5 large jam-drops was a much closer estimate of the volume required to fill the obviously gaping hole in my stomach. Then your dad had a pack of corn chips so I had a few (it was just a few)… Then I figured baclava was needed too. So I ate that. Just one piece (they are little pieces, only 2cm square!)…

Buying the baclava. I only bought a half a kilo, which, as you can see from the size of the tray on offer, was very restrained of me. And I have been sharing it. Mostly.

While eating these delightful treats I was busy thinking about dinner and dessert ’cause I knew these would only fill me up for a while. This really is a distinct change from pretty much the whole first trimester when I avoided the kitchen and couldn’t really be bothered to think about food at all. So while eating at home I started cooking. First up was french vanilla ice cream with a fresh vanilla bean and lots of cream. Made the custard, put it in the fridge, then started on the sauce. I wanted to make fresh blueberry ripple ice cream, so using the kilo of fresh blueberries I got on the weekend, I added a little sugar and cooked a blueberry jam. Mashed up the blueberries a little and cooked on high heat. It tasted good. Froze the ice cream and then combined in beautiful purple swirls and stuck in the freezer for after dinner.

Assembling Dinner: leeks underneath, cheese on top, pastry nice and crispy

Dinner itself I decided that I wanted fresh leek, fetta and tomato flan. So made a cheese, wheatgerm flaky pastry, then did the leeks and the onions and baked it all into a big flan. Your dad didn’t seem happy that dinner was so late: 8:15 pm; but for me, it was the perfect timing between my last snack and an early bed (eating all day is just exhausting). Dessert of the blueberry swirl ice cream followed.

Yum, yum. I was famished all day, but managed to satisfy the hunger pains and keep myself occupied. Suffice to say I was replete at the end. And I didn’t do any bike riding ’cause I just didn’t have the time.

Enjoy!

love mum