my-speck

Hello Poogie,

So. Feeling very nervous. Have just consumed most of a family-sized block of chocolate in an upset/nervous/tension-filled empty moment. Yes, single “moment”, not plural “moments”. I literally inhaled it.

We are back from holidays and in organising mode I phoned the pathology lab yesterday to see how far in advance of your next doctor’s appointment I need to get the blood and other tests they want you to have done. And I was thinking about a week out from the appointment. Then got told a month out. Which was last week. So today it is. We are off to the hospital as soon as you wake up from your morning nap for a blood and other pathology tests.

And you know how I hate needles? I’m sure you know that, as I told you enough times when I was pregnant about the fact that I was just getting all these needles for your good, not mine.. And some of my experiences with needles lately haven’t been the greatest: my experience in a birthing suite with some bleeding during pregnancy, and a bad experience that I didn’t go through in this blog but did happen when they were trying to get a line into me for my surgery. Anyway, I hate needles at the best of time. Worst when I’m having to have one stuck in me. I thought. Until today. Now I’ve realised that I hate them even more when I have to think of one getting stuck into you. AAAAAAAAGHH…. (vomitous feeling, chocolate coming up my throat).

Just needed to get out some nervous energy. Erk. You’ll be fine, I’m sure. I’ve packed three of your favourite books, and a tub full of pomegranate seeds and sultanas, your favourite.

You’ll be fine.

You’ll be fine.

You’ll be fine.

I’ll be not fine.

love you
mum