my-speck

i'm pregnant and it's going to be a rollercoaster

Gee, we've made it past half way. Its getting a little scarily close. February 13, 2009

Filed under: baby stuff,birthing,development stages,pregnancy — rakster @ 11:52 am
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Good morning Speckle!

Its Friday. And your dad, I and you are off to New Zealand tonight for a holiday. Brief sojourn before we head back to Brisvegas and our old house before you come along. I’m looking forward to it. I think you’ve got the excitement down there as you have been turning somersaults this morning. Or maybe you’d be doing that anyways? Who knows? you can’t talk yet. I guess it will be a while.

This week I’ve been a mixture of strangely calm inside and panicked in my mind about you coming VERY SOON, while at the same time being a bit, lah di dah, it will all work out. And feeling grumpy and generally very tired again. But still strangely calm. Hormones. They do strange things to you. Guess what? Its PAST HALF WAY. I was kinda ignoring it but coming down in the lift at work the other day I just had a bling, tah-dah moment, when I suddenly realised that it really was only just over 4 months and you’d be joining us. And we will be changing nappies, and trying to breastfeed you and cope with little sleep and you’d be cute and I guess I’d love you ’cause you were mine and “OH MY GOD”. Then I got distracted alternately by how famished I was and how much the person in front of me annoyed me and I promptly felt fine and forgot the panic.

I had to buy some maternity clothes last week, as the only clothes that were fitting were skirts which I just left undid and wore longer tops with. And new bras as each of my boobs are now as big as rockmelons and just as heavy and the bras I bought at 2 months pregnant just don’t fit anymore. Unfortunately that is not an exaggeration. Expensive but necessary. In the clothes department also I decided it was getting a little too much, and went and bought some new maternity pants and skirts. Coupled with the tent-like shirts that are in fashion at the moment I think I’ll be fine until you come now. You’re supposedly around 19 cm long this week and you’re just going to get bigger. As am I. By the way, the investment was worth it. I never thought I’d look forward to putting on ribbed material around my waist, but fashion statement or not, it is SOO much more comfortable than anything else and I never get out of it now. Good. So next week I’ll be alternately cycling round central Otago wearing slightly too small bike pants (didn’t upgrade those to maternity) and lounging in my oh-so-comfortable stretch-waist maternity jeans. Look out central Otago, you won’t know what has hit you!

Otherwise I’m starting to think we should be thinking about buying some stuff for you. We’ve got a cot, and we have a change table, but that’s about it. No, we have a bottle which someone left at our house once when their baby was little. So: one stolen bottle, one cot, one change table. What else do we need for you? We are going to get a pram this week in New Zealand, as the Mountain Buggy one we want is made there and is quite a bit cheaper. I guess we’ll need some clothes and nappies and the like too. I think it would be great to have a nappy service for a while – that might be kinda helpful. It would be good to have that taken care of for a while. My book suggested I could ask people just contribute to that rather than buying me flowers. I’ll get your dad to investigate.

How many clothes do you need? A friend from work sent me a link to a baby site that she recommended for basic jumpsuits and the like but I’m a bit confused as to what I should buy. Maybe I should buy a few so you have something to wear and then we can work it out after that? I don’t know. It will be winter, so you won’t be able to go nude. Actually, I forgot, your dad and I bought a baby change bag and a few blankets for babies in the January sales. So maybe we can just swaddle you in blankets and push you around for the winter. With some spare blankets and a camera in the baby change bag. Then you can go nude in summer. Really, it scares me how little idea either of us have. Consoling is the fact that everyone who has a baby seems to cope somehow. So I’m sure we’ll work it out and make some mistakes and whatnot but somehow muddle through. I am reminded of the time I was sent home from school in Grade one, six years of age, with a note for my father: “Please make sure <Mum> wears underpants under her school dress/skirt; cross-legged reading sessions require this”. Or words to that effect. Yep, I missed some undies some days. Nonetheless I think I worked out ok, I only occassionally forget them now.

Hope you’re well down there and enjoying the good food I’ve been eating. You must be growing as I am once again ridiculously hungry.
love and kisses
mum

p.s. your dad is now researching thingy bits that attach to the toilet so we can clean your nappies. Little Squirt. We thought they looked a bit expensive and then read the bit about them being toddler-tamper proof and decided that it might be worth it rather than a do-it-yourself option. He he.

 

Oh, maybe you’re not ok? please keep on growing.. we love you. October 22, 2008

Filed under: eating,healthcare,pregnancy — rakster @ 2:38 pm
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Dear Speck,

hiya down there.  We’ve just been for the scan.  Are you ok?  I hope so.  Still not sure.

We went to the clinic and I managed to scull about a litre of water in the taxi on the way from work because I’d forgotten to drink a bunch beforehand.  You’re supposed to have a full bladder for the first part of the examination to make it easier to see.  Well, I’m not sure that much of it made it to my bladder but I had drunk so much I felt ill.  My own fault.  Next time I’ll be better prepared.  I met your dad at the clinic and we went in to see the technician.

We were there for a ‘dating and viability’ scan.  But apparently they do expect you to know such things as the exact day your last period started, and how long your normal cycle is.  So the ‘dating’ and viability part only works out if they know approximately how old you should be.  And I really don’t know.  Basically we could see a dark area which the technician said was ‘a pregnancy’, but it was difficult to gauge if everything is going ok, or if its not.  She thought you were a size that indicated you were about 5 weeks old, which didn’t quite tally with the dates I thought about.  They date you from the first day of your last period, and since I’m not 100% sure, it was a bit difficult.

The short of it is that you’re only about 5 weeks old, or you’re too small for your age.  Its a bit scary.  You are in the right spot though, there is a gestation sac that you look like you’re in (though we couldn’t see you, just the sac).  So I’m pretty worried.  We tried to work backwards again, but its hard to work out exactly when I had my last period, because I had just had an operation, we went on holidays, and all of those things (read – mum not so good at keeping track of things like dates and regularity of period etc.  I mean really, its annoying at the best of times, I try not to think about it or let it impact my life as much as possible).  Optimistically, I definitely had my period on the 13th, so by that measure you are only just 5.5 weeks old, which tallies with how big and developed you were on the scan.  But I thought it was a few days before that.  I thought it was more like the 8th, which puts you just over 6 weeks… I guess its only a week, and your Dad thinks that maybe you floated around looking for a comfy spot to land for a long time.  Sometimes it can take up to 7 days, he’s read, so perhaps you’re just a young 5-6 weeks.  And perfectly sized.  I hope so.

Anyway, I’m going to keep eating well for you.  We already have an appointment with the GP in 5 days time, on Monday, and we’ve optimistically made an appointment for another ultrasound to see how big you are in two weeks time.  I hope you’re ok.

love you!  (even though you’re tiny).

mum