my-speck

i'm pregnant and it's going to be a rollercoaster

feeling a little stressed and emotional May 5, 2009

Filed under: emotion,exhaustion,family,pregnancy — rakster @ 9:41 am
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Hello Little Speck,

Its very comforting to feel you moving around down there happily this morning.  I think your dad appreciated it too – he woke up and could feel you against his back.   And your hiccups were so strong he got to feel those too.  We were both happy to feel you being normal.   And I’m glad to say that your awake hours are actually currently in-line with mine – you wake up at about 6:30am, then play around for an hour or more; then you sleep, though sometimes you have a little play until about 9am or so.   You sometimes wake during the middle of the day, but definitely around 3pm is a big time for you to reawaken and do some fairly vigorous exercise.   Then around 6pm you seem to go a bit crazy – I suspect its when I haven’t had dinner yet and you’re trying to tell me your blood sugar has dropped too low.   Then its all downhill for me as I am generally exhausted and very ready for bed.   You often are still awake and there is some movement but you chill out when I go to bed and seem to sleep through the night.  You were waking me up before when this wasn’t happening.  So thanks.  My sleep has been better.

I think I overdid it on the weekend and yesterday – I had a bit of a meltdown last night and something like a panic attack after I went to bed.   I just couldn’t seem to get enough breath and was sobbing uncontrollably.  I couldn’t think straight and couldn’t work out what was wrong or why I was upset or what was going on or whether I could really breathe or not.  It wasn’t very fun and I freaked both myself and your dad out.  Eventually I got over it and managed to settle back down and go to sleep.  I am putting it down to Week 32 pregnancy hormones.   Our midwife in the antenatal classes was suggesting we all have a good cry in the shower.   And there are a bunch of women on the baby forum this week who all seem to be crying a lot.    So I’m guessing its a common thing and I’m just following the normal pregnant and crazy pattern.

Anyway, this is why we were both happy to feel you scrimmaging around like normal this morning.

Thinking of you.

love mum

 

Hiccups. Again. Its one of the strangest feelings I’ve ever felt. And Antenatal Classes Mark #5. May 1, 2009

Filed under: baby stuff,baby's feelings,birthing,development stages,healthcare,pregnancy — rakster @ 6:20 pm
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Hello Little Spectacle,

How are things going with you?  All well with me.   You’re awake and down there hiccupping again.  It must be that time of day. Its one of the strangest things I’ve ever felt.  Apparently it could be you practicing breathing by exercising your diaphragm.   You started it last week.  And have continued almost daily since then.  There is a sort of popping kinda feeling down in my uterus.  It almost feels as though there is a membrane in there somewhere going in and out.  A bit like the silver top from an old-fashioned bottle of milk coming off.  Repeatedly.  Inside me.   So, yeah, a bit weird and freaky.   But also, now that I’m used to it, comforting in some strange way.

Antenatal classes continued last night.  Your dad wasn’t keen to go, pramway construction having reached an impasse for the day – a few little niggly mistakes in the pramway causing a bit of back-tracking had put him in a particularly foul mood.   However your craving for potato-gems for dinner (all you, not me at all) I think helped lift his spirits, as did the fact that his planned dentist visit wasn’t as bad as he thought it was going to be.   Thus, belly-full of fried, baked and rolled-in-sour-cream oily potato goodness (with some coleslaw thrown in for good measure), we trundled off to the hospital to meet with our friends the midwife and other pregnoid couples.   Its a bit strange but I’m going to miss it a bit when it finishes, six weeks of jokes and disbelief and panic with other couples really does bring you together slightly.   Its been really odd observing them too, and seeing how they interact as couples, what they are looking forward to, scared of, all those things.  There are a mix of people of different ages and backgrounds, but all are excited and keen and its lovely to see that too.

Last night was Caesarean Sections and Breastfeeding.  Relatively depressing really.  It was all very serious.   Your dad went green watching the Caesarean Section video, while I coped apart from the part when they showed the epidural going in.  The cutting through the stomach tissue & then the breaking of the uterine sack was actually pretty cool.   The uterine sack thing was really white and of course all the waters started just squirting out everywhere when they put the scalpel through it slightly.   Watching a white and purple head emerge from a big cut was a bit surreal.  That really freaked your dad out while I thought that bit was kinda cool.   The little baby they pulled out was very purple but quickly started to breathe and got some colour.   And cried.  It wasn’t very happy!

I don’t really want a caesarean, I guess no-one really does want any surgery if they don’t have to have it.  I think I’d find it really weird being awake through it – and it takes so long and there are so many people in the room.   I think to some extent I’d rather be able to see it than just see a big blue sheet with lots of doctors and nurses and midwives moving around behind it.  Another thing that you really don’t know how you’d cope with until it happens.

Breastfeeding is a bit the same.  Yep, they are pretty pro-breastfeeding at the hospital, which is good, but really, how much can you learn in an antenatal class???  I found it a bit ho-hum, as I’ve read a bit about it before and generally think its one of those things that is going to be hard to take in until you try it yourself.   Chatting with your dad on the way home though, he said he found it really informative and useful.  So we got something out of it.  Oh, I guess the bit I got was that if you do use bottles / express or whatever, there is no need for any sterilisation palava as long as you wash it.   Your milk, your baby, your bottles and knick-knacks, no sterilisation required.  Awesome.  That helps.

Today I took a lunch break and went down to West End and had a massage.  My back has been pretty sore and sitting at my desk all day tap-tap-tapping doesn’t help.   It was lovely.   I lay there for 15 minutes afterwards and relaxed, then gave you a massage of your own, as you’d woken up.   You seemed to enjoy your massage too and went back to sleep.   Its my way of getting you used to my touch before you come out.

Pramway - Our front yard before commencement of construction

Pramway – Our front yard before commencement of construction

Your dad is still out the front pramway-building.  I’m going to finish off in here and then head off to yoga.

Pramway is underway. Nearly ready for the decking!

Pramway is underway. Nearly ready for the decking!

love you.

mum

under construction - getting those joists in was a lot of work. Hopefully it will hold the weight of people walking up and down it for years.

under construction – getting those joists in was a lot of work. Hopefully it will hold the weight of people walking up and down it for years.

 

Not much new to report. I think you’re getting bigger, you’re kicking around a bit. And the "Pramway" is underway. April 30, 2009

Filed under: exercise,pregnancy — rakster @ 9:30 am
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Good morning Speckle,

It’s cold! I actually got under the duvet last night for the whole night. First time this year – I’ve been so hot that usually I let your dad have it all (a treat which he is enjoying as I am traditionally a duvet stealer but since I’ve been pregnant I’ve been hot and haven’t wanted it). Bbbbrr. Going to the bathroom five times in the freezing cold is tough. So I stayed in bed until 7:30. Lie-in. Mmm.

I’ve been a busy fat waddler this week. Running about to my yoga and exercise classes. I’m getting quite proficient at rolling my hips around on a fit ball. You generally just seem to sleep through it all, so who knows if you even realise that I’m exercising. I ordered a new fitball for us at home but it hasn’t arrived yet. My favourite exercise is squats against the wall with the fitball – the rolling motion of the ball on my back feels a bit like a massage and helps relieve the pressure that has built-up. I’m not convinced by the “Yogababy” pregnancy classes yet though. Too many people in the class and just a bit of a mish mash of movements like rolling your hips, with maybe warrior pose thrown in for good measure. I think the normal yoga classes with some modified poses are better.

You are very much awake this morning and rolling around down there. You aren’t too bad though – earlier this week I think you managed to get your foot wedged in the space between two of my ribs and just jammed it back and forth for at least 20 minutes. I apologise slightly, but after attempting to get you to move gently I resorted to some relatively strong pushes to get you to move (read – you jab me and I jabbed you back when it got intolerable). At the moment you seem to be active first thing in the morning, and then usually again around 3pm and then again around 6pm. Either I’m sleeping better as I’m going through another really tired phase, or you’re also sleeping through most of the night too. Hope you keep that up! I’m sure you won’t.

Your dad started building the new decking path from the front gate to the front verandah yesterday. He dug a big hole in the middle of the front garden for some support posts, moved the massive piece of rock under the deck that acts as a step, and sledgehammered the step from the footpath right away. The wood and stuff arrived on a big truck (which incidentally took out a large branch on the black bean tree – very unfortunate as it was a branch that gave the front of the house a lot of shade in summer), and he has done some priming on the joists (or whatever they are called) so that today it should all be ready to start laying the structure from the path. The plan is a ramp that goes right from the footpath down to the level of our front deck, so we can just roll you on in your pram. Also, it will be easier for people to walk – less tree roots, and general compost material to trudge through. I think the decking we bought matches the front deck, so hopefully it will look ok. We’re not planning on putting any handrails on it though – so I’m sure as you get bigger you’ll stack it off the side many times – to a 30cm max drop. We’re planning on mulching up around the sides and putting some more garden bed in, so it should at least be a soft landing.

Hope you’re well.
love mum